Question Time with TMI and TID
by Izzle Heronstern
Summary: Welcome to Question time! Hear all their stories and hear all about the Herondales and ducks! Story is better than description! update: It's the end guys! I hoped you enjoy it but the sequel's going up soon, so don't get too angsty :)
1. The beginning

**Me: Hello and welcome to QUESTION TIME WITH THE TMI AND TID GANG! Say hello everyone!**

 **Clary: Hey guys (everyone cheers)**

 **Simon: Sup (everyone cheers)**

 **Isabelle: What's up (guys scream)**

 **Alec: Um, hi (girls aww)**

 **Magnus: Hello darlings (everyone laughs)**

 **Maia: Hey (guys shout)**

 **Jordan: Hello all (girls shout)**

 **Jace walks in late: Hey people, missed me? (Crowd swoons and Clary hits his arm)**

 **Tessa: Good afternoon (crowd chuckles)**

 **Jem: Hello (crowd says hello)**

 **Will: Good day to you all, but it's better now that I am here (girls swoon)**

 **Cecily: Shut up Will and hi! (Guys laugh)**

 **Gabriel: Good morrows (girls scream)**

 **Sophie: Hello? (Crowd claps)**

 **Gideon: You are so adorable Sophie. Hola! (Crowd awws and cheers)**

 **Jessamine: You are all idiots, but hello (Crowd boos)**

 **Me: And that's the cast. OK, so now we have a bunch of questions to ask the Mortal Instruments gang. If the rest of you could go out please…**

 **Tessa: OK, come along Will.**

 **Will: But Tess…**

 **Tessa: You are coming with me, we are engaged to be married after all.**

 **Jem: Wait what? I thought you were marrying me?**

 **Will: You are a Silent Brother Jem, you do not marry.**

 **Me: Wait, I thought that Jem was a guy now?**

 **Jem: Yes I am. Will, aren't you supposed to be dead?**

 **Will: No. I came back for this show. I am marrying Tessa.**

 **Tessa: I am marrying Will while he is still here. I will be marrying Jem when Will goes back.**

 **Everyone: Oh!**

 **Will: In what universe is that fair?**

 **Jace: Man, you're my great great great grandfather, right?**

 **Will: …yes…**

 **Jace: You've got problems.**

 **Will sighs: Yes, I realise.**

 **Clary: Jace, it's rude to insult your great great great grandfather!**

 **Me: TID GET OUT!**

 **(The Infernal Devices characters get out of there)**

 **Me: Phew. OK, so we have a question for Clary.**

 **Jace: Ooh!**

 **Isabelle: Jace, you're such an idiot!**

 **Me: Clary, when did you first fall in love with Jace?**

 **Magnus: That is a very good question.**

 **Alec: Why's that?**

 **Magnus: Because I already know the answer.**

 **Jordan: How is that a good question if you already know the answer?**

 **Maia: Let it go Jordy.**

 **Jace: It's obvious that she fell in love with me when she first laid eyes on me.**

 **Clary: Um, no. I fell in love with Jace when he was talking about the things that he loved. He has this really cute habit of being totally vulnerable when he talks about the Lightwoods or about his past. That's what I love about him.**

 **Jace pulls Clary over to him and they kiss.**

 **Maia: Aww, that's so sweet!**

 **Isabelle: No, it's not.**

 **Simon: I second that.**

 **Me: OK, Simon, do you prefer being a vampire, human or a Shadowhunter? Also, did you prefer Isabelle or Maia?**

 **Jace: Putting him in that position was a good move. (High fives me)**

 **Simon: Well. Being a human was boring so that was my least favourite. Being a vampire was cool because I could walk in the sun but being a Shadowhunter has to be my favourite.**

 **Me: Even if you can't remember your whole life?**

 **Simon: I remember Izzy and Clary and most things, but vaguely drinking Jace's and Alec's blood.**

 **Alec: Obviously you would remember that.**

 **Jace: True dat.**

 **Maia: What about that second question?**

 **Simon: Can I stay silent?**

 **Maia and Isabelle: SIMON!**

 **Simon: Just kidding. I'd have to say Izzy.**

 **Jordan: Good, otherwise we'd have a full out fight right here.**

 **Maia and Isabelle: That would be kind of hot.**

 **Me: Isabelle, which do you prefer, Meliorn the faerie knight or Jordan Kyle?**

 **Simon: Izzy…**

 **Isabelle: Don't worry Si.**

 **Clary: Choose this answer well Jedi.**

 **Jace: I have no idea what you just said.**

 **Silence…**

 **Magnus: This is going well.**

 **Isabelle: I prefer…Jordan Kyle.**

 **Jordan: I feel somewhat pleased, yet disgusted.**

 **Maia: Stick with that Jordy.**

 **Me: OK Alec!**

 **Alec: I was not falling asleep.**

 **Magnus: Sure you weren't honey.**

 **Me: Would you rather be Alec Lightwood or Alec Bane?**

 **Magnus: Whoa.**

 **Jace: I think he'd rather be Alec Herondale.**

 **Alec: Wha?**

 **Clary: I think that right is reserved for me.**

 **Will: And me and Tessa.**

 **Me: Will! What are you doing here?**

 **Will: I heard the call of the Herondale.**

 **ME: Are you sure you didn't hear the call of the duck?**

 **Jace and Will: Duck!? Where?**

 **Me: I was kidding. You guys are such wimps.**

 **Will and Jace: Take. It. Back. Now!**

 **Me: I will if Will goes back to Tessa. Will, you don't know if Gabriel is molesting Cecily. Do you really want a Lightwood to be your brother in law?**

 **Will: Not a Lightworm!**

 **Isabelle and Alec: Hey!**

 **Will runs off.**

 **Me: Continue Alec.**

 **Alec: Well.**

 **Magnus: We will continue this, after a short ad break.**


	2. The next bit

**Thank you so much, guys, for reviewing! I literally freaked out in the middle of science when I saw the reviews! Um, so this is my first fanfic, as some of you can see, and I hope that you'll continue to love this!**

 **And, as Will always says: _Never trust a duck :)_**

* * *

 **Chapter Two**

 **Me: And we're back. Alec was in the middle of answering a serious duck.**

 **Jace: What?**

 **Me: I mean a serious question.**

 **Alec: Well, I think I would be Alec Bane.**

 **Magnus: Aww!**

 **Alec: Because it sounds cool and it's Magnus' name.**

 **Me: Can't argue with that. Magnus!**

 **Magnus: Yes? The all powerful Magnus Bane wishes to know what you want.**

 **Me: OK. No glitter or NO GLITTER?**

 **Everyone gasps.**

 **Jace: You're taking away everything that is Magnus!**

 **Clary swoons.**

 **Jace: CLARY!**

 **A duck quacks.**

 **Magnus: I choose…NO GLITTER!**

 **Alec: NOOOOOOOOO!**

 **Me: Glad that's settled then. Maia.**

 **Maia: That's my name.**

 **Me: We all know that you love Jordan. (At least that's what he thinks).**

 **Jordan: Everyone had better know that. Wait, what did you say?**

 **Me: But what about Bat? After Jordan dies (everyone cries), you go out with Bat.**

 **Jordan: YOU DO WHAT?**

 **Maia: Well, you were dead.**

 **Jace: Why is he even here right now?**

 **Simon: That's a good question. Hey, Jace, have you revived Clary yet?**

 **Me: Do you like Jordan or Bat more?**

 **Audience gasps.**

 **Maia: Well, I don't know. I guess I love them both the same.**

 **Jordan: Wait, you love him?**

 **Maia: Jordy, you're dead. Don't get involved.**

 **Isabelle: Ugh, this is so complicated.**

 **Will: You want complicated? I will tell you things that are complicated!**

 **Me: Will, go away! There has been an outbreak of demon pox outside!**

 **Will: Demon pox!**

 **Me: Well, I guess we will never know the answer to Maia's question.**

 **Magnus chuckles.**

 **Alec: Magnus?**

 **Jordan: Maia, we are going to have a chat at my apartment tonight.**

 **Me: Jordan.**

 **Jordan: Oh no.**

 **Me: Who's hotter: Isabelle or Clary?**

 **Simon and Jace glower at Jordan.**

 **Alec and Magnus: Ooh, this is going to be good.**

 **Maia: If I could answer a question about Bat, you can answer a question about Clary and Isabelle.**

 **Me: Except you didn't!**

 **Jordan: Isabelle then.**

 **Me: Why?**

 **Jordan: Because, if I had said Clary, then Jace would've been on my tail. I can handle Simon.**

 **Simon: That is totally rude, man. You no longer have any of the room mate perks.**

 **Me: And last, but not least, Jace (crowd screams).**

 **Clary: Jace, don't answer anything about anything inappropriate.**

 **Simon: That would be funny though.**

 **Magnus: Answer anything Jace.**

 **Me: Here is the question I thought first of asking. WHAT DID YOU DO IN THAT CAVE?**

 **Clary blushes: Jace…**

 **Jace: I think that Clary thinks that that would qualify as an inappropriate question.**

 **Me: Fine. OK. BUT WAIT ONE MINUTE!**

 **Everyone: What?**

 **Me: We have a special guest…Sebastian!**

 **Sebastian comes in and takes a seat next to Clary: Did I miss anything?**

* * *

 **So, Sebastian has come in to this story. What do you think will happen?**

 **Please keep reviewing, and I'll try to update in the middle of history :)**

 **If I get enough reviews, maybe I'll review in the same week.**

 **On another note, IS ANYONE AS EXCITED AS ME FOR THE TV SHOW? Dominic Sherwood is such a good choice and I am so excited for Magnus; Malec forever!**

 **Izzle Heronstern :D**


	3. The end of the next bit

**Thank you so much for reviewing and don't worry, Will and the other characters are definitely coming into this.**

 **And don't worry about Sebastian, he won't change things at all.**

 **Please review any questions you think I should ask them, especially Gideon as I'm not sure about him.**

 **Thanks, Izzle.**

* * *

 **Chapter Three**

 **Jace: Why did you bring that sicko into this?**

 **Sebastian: My feelings are hurt.**

 **Clary: No one cares Sebastian.**

 **Maia: You killed Jordan!**

 **Jordan: Ah, so that's who killed me…**

 **Me: He's not** _ **that**_ **bad…**

 **Jace: He tried to kill Clary!**

 **Clary: He made Jace his slave!**

 **Isabelle: He killed Max.**

 **Everyone goes silent.**

 **Me: Anything you have to say Magnus?**

 **Magnus: Um…he kidnapped me?**

 **Sebastian: Yeah, but I'm Jonathan now, remember? I'm the good guy, Clary's brother. When she stabbed me with that sword all the evil was purged from me, remember? Not the green eyes, the black hair.**

 **Clary: Oh yeah…sorry bro.**

 **Sebastian: No probs.**

 **Me: Anyway, we were asking Jace a question.**

 **Magnus: You know I know the answer, right?**

 **Alec: Yes we do.**

 **Simon: Are you psychic or something?**

 **Me: Jace, are you hot or are you amazing?**

 **Clary smirks: This'll be good.**

 **Alec: Why the hell did you ask him that?**

 **Will: He is neither. I am the king of hotness and amazingness. Jace is second because he is a Herondale. Apart from Cecily. Because she's a girl.**

 **Me: Hey, Will, did you know that Isabelle and Alec are Lightwoods?**

 **Will: Yes…what is your point?**

 **Me: Well, Cecily is with Gabriel and if they marry that mean that they have children and to have children they…**

 **Will: I am going to kill Lightworm.**

 **Will runs out.**

 **Me: Jace, you were saying.**

 **Jace: I wasn't saying anything actually. I was listening to my ancestor's very funny conversation. I was going to say that I am both. I did create the Jace scale after all.**

 **Clary: 'The Jace scale' only exists in your head, Jace.**

 **Audience: WE BELIEVE IN THE JACE SCALE!**

 **Jace smirks: I think they proved you wrong Clarissa.**

 **Sebastian: Hey, only I call her Clarissa.**

 **Jace: I still don't like you Sebastian.**

 **Simon: Are we done yet? This has been entertaining and all, but I have a hot date to get to.**

 **Everyone bursts out laughing.**

 **Isabelle: Are you** _ **cheating**_ **on me Simon?**

 **Simon: No, I have a hot date with Magnus' cat.**

 **Magnus: Stay away from Chairman Meow!**

 **Me: OK, since Sebastian is here, we have a question for him.**

 **Sebastian: Fire away.**

 **Alec: Poor choice of words.**

 **Jordan: Are you sure he killed me? He seems alright.**

 **Maia: That's because he isn't that Sebastian anymore. He's Jonathan now.**

 **Jordan: Man, that's complicated.**

 **Me: Don't say that word! Oh no, he's going to come in now.**

 **All wait or Will.**

 **Jace: I don't think he's coming.**

 **Clary: Oh great, now you've jinxed it.**

 **Sebastian: Who are you guys waiting for?**

 **Simon: Jace's great great great grandfather; Will Herondale.**

 **Sebastian: Shouldn't he be dead?**

 **Maia: Jordan should be dead too, but he's here right now.**

 **Sebastian: Good point.**

 **Me: Well, guess not. Sebastian…**

 **Will: Did someone call my name?**

 **Me: There he is.**

 **Clary: Will, not that we don't love you, but why do you keep coming here?**

 **Magnus: I know…**

 **Will: I just do, OK? Sorry I didn't come earlier. I was occupied with reading a book to Tessa. Gabriel persisted in trying to Molest Cecily and Jem was in a frightful mood and then I heard Herondale. Would you like to know why you have a birthmark in the shape of a star on your shoulder Jace?**

 **Me: No we don't. Will, that story is inappropriate.**

 **Jace: I'm curious now.**

 **Clary: Oh dear.**

 **Tessa: Will, you are not going to tell the about that!**

 **Will: What happened was, when I went to rescue Tessa in the cave, I did exactly what you did in your cave and Tessa was there and her necklace slipped on my shoulder and there it is.**

 **Tessa and Clary blush.**

 **Jace: Right. That makes sense.**

 **Maia: What happened in the cave though?**

 **Jordan: Maia, I think we can guess. They obviously had a sparring competition.**

 **Will and Jace: Right.**

 **Me: Jordan that was the worst deduction ever.**

 **Sebastian: I wasn't even in that chapter and I know what happened there.**

 **Me: Will, Tessa, you can leave now. We still haven't asked Sebastian his question.**

 **Will and Tessa leave hand in hand.**

 **Me: So Sebastian, did you have the same dream that Clary had? You hinted, but it was never fully explained. You were dying and all. Wait, aren't you supposed to be dead?**

 **Sebastian: Jordan and Will are supposed to be dead. Anyway, yes I did have that dream. It was beautiful and I really wished that that could have happened in real life.**

 **Jace: Good luck getting Jocelyn to agree to that.**

 **Simon, Alec, Magnus and Jordan high five him.**

 **Clary: Aww, Sebastian, how cute is that?**

 **Me: Yes, very cute. OK, so now we're gonna have an ad break and then we'll have the TID cast. Say bye, guys.**

 **Sebastian: Bye (Half crowd cheers, other half boos) Understandable.**

 **Clary: Se you later (Crowd cheers).**

 **Jace: I'll see you at the hotel tonight (Crowd screams) just kidding Clary.**

 **Simon: Um, bye (Crowd claps).**

 **Isabelle: Bah bye (Guys scream).**

 **Alec: Bye (Crowd awws).**

 **Magnus: Goodbye darlings (Crowd laughs).**

 **Maia: Bye (Guys cheer).**

 **Jordan: Bye guys, and guess I'm dead again. Suppose you'll be going off to Bat then?**

 **Maia: What, no! You're staying until the end of the show. We're going to the dressing rooms!**

 **Jace: Hey, you wanna come to my dressing room Clary?**

 **Clary: And reminisce about the cave?**

 **Jordan: Ohh, so that was what the cave was.**

 **Me: Jordan, just no. Bye guys!**

 **Everyone: BYE!**

 **Audience cheers.**

 **Alec and I leave.**


	4. The TID

**Thank you for all the reviews and don't worry about Magnus guys! I am actually so glad that you guys like this. You can review at any time to suggest questions I can ask.**

 **Also, sorry I haven't updated recently, I am busy with school:)**

* * *

 **Chapter Four**

 **Me: Hello again! This half of the show is all about The Infernal Devices cast. So we have:**

 **Tessa: Hello! (Crowd cheers).**

 **Will: Hello all (Crowd screams).**

 **Jem: Hi (Crowd cheers).**

 **Cecily: Good day (Guys shout).**

 **Gabriel: Hi Cecily, I mean audience (Will scowls at him).**

 **Sophie: Hello (Crowd claps).**

 **Gideon: Hola! (Crowd screams).**

 **Jessamine: Ugh, hi (Crowd boos).**

 **Me: So, you were all in the dressing rooms when we were questioning the others. My question to all of you is: How do you deal with Will?**

 **Will: That is simply not etiquette.**

 **Tessa: You are the last person to care about manners Will.**

 **Jem: That is correct.**

 **Cecily: Well, I have to deal with Will; he's my brother, but so does Gabriel, because we are engaged to be married.**

 **Gabriel turns green: Uh, we are? I don't remember you saying that to me.**

 **Cecily: I said it when you met our parents!**

 **Gabriel: I had thought you were joking.**

 **Cecily: I do not joke!**

 **Tessa: I deal with Will in my own way. Will is my best friend as well as my fiancée.**

 **Me: You understand he is dead?**

 **Tessa: Of course. I still love him though.**

 **Jem: What about me?**

 **Tessa: We'll talk about that later.**

 **Sophie: Master Will…I mean Will used to be despicable but when the curse was found to be false, he was much better.**

 **Jessamine: I find Will horrible.**

 **Everyone is silent.**

 **Me: OK, what about you Gideon?**

 **Gideon: I find him amusing. And loquacious.**

 **Will: What the bloody hell does loq—whatever mean?**

 **Magnus: It means…**

 **Me: Magnus, what are you doing here?**

 **Magnus: Well, I was in all three TID books, so why not?**

 **Me: You can't be here. The chairs are all filled.**

 **Magnus: You know, I am magic. I can magic up a chair.**

 **Me: Whatever. Just go away.**

 **Will: Will we ever start this show? I find going to a bar and pretending to be intoxicated a better amusement that this.**

 **Cecily: You mean you were always pretending? Will Herondale!**

 **Will: Tessa knew.**

 **Jem: As did I.**

 **Cecily: Yes, yes, because they are the closest people to your heart. I am your sister, why didn't you tell me?**

 **Me: The first question will go to Tessa.**

 **Tessa: Alright.**

 **Me: Do you like Will or Jem more?**

 **Will: If I were against someone else, I would say obviously me, but I can't say that now.**

 **Jem: This is highly loquacious.**

 **Tessa: Well, I love them both equally…**

 **Me: You have to choose one.**

 **Magnus: This is getting good.**

 **Me: Magnus, get out!**

 **Magnus leaves.**

 **Tessa: Well.**

 **Will: SHE SAID WILL. IN YOUR FACE JAMES! I mean, how delightful!**

 **Jem: She said well.**

 **Will: Oh.**

 **Tessa: I cannot possibly choose. I will simply have to pick one at random.**

 **Drumroll.**

 **Tessa: I choose…Will.**

 **Will: YES! IN YOUR FACE!**

 **Me: Calm down Will.**

 **Gabriel: Are you saying I'm going to be related to that gentleman?**

 **Cecily: Yes.**

 **Jace: And also to me!**

 **Will: Go away great great great grandson. I am in the middle of an important interview.**

 **Jace walks away.**

 **Me: Will, here's your question. Why are you afraid of ducks?**

 **Will: They are aggressive psycho maniacs. Obviously. They are psychopaths as well and are bloodthirsty little creatures. Never trust a duck.**

 **Jessamine: I cannot believe that you, who claims to be one of the best Shadowhunters ever, cannot face a harmless duck.**

 **Will: It is something that all male Herondales have. The fear of the duck. Well, I could tell you the entire story of what actually happened…**

 **Me: No. You already scarred everyone with the story of how Herondales have a star shaped birthmark on their shoulder. I won't allow you to tell the duck story.**

 **Magnus: A duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand 'Hey' bom bom bom 'Got any grapes?'**

 **Will: That is terrible. Worse than the Demon Pox song.**

 **Jem: Goodness gracious. Magnus, you idiot.**

 **Magnus: Language, young Shadowhunter.**

 **Jem: I am actually 130 years old.**

 **Magnus: Well, I am more than 3000 years old.**

 **Tessa: I am probably 140 years old.**

 **Will: I am dead. I beat all of you.**

 **Me: What were we talking about?**

 **Gideon: You asked why Will hates ducks. Then Sophie fell asleep.**

 **Sophie yawns: No I did not.**

 **Me: The next question id for Jem!**

 **Jem: Oh dear.**

 **Me: Tell us the story of Six Fingered Nigel.**

 **Tessa, Jem, Sophie, Gideon, Gabriel and Jessamine groan.**

 **Cecily: Who is Six Fingered Nigel?**

 **Will: Oh great, why did you ask Jem to tell the story? It is much better to ask me.**

 **Me: I am not asking you, I am asking Jem.**

 **Jem: Um, I do not recall the entire story.**

 **Jessamine: Good, we can go to the next topic.**

 **Cecily: I want to know who this is!**

 **Tessa sighs: He is Will's intoxicated friend.**

 **Cecily: I have discovered I do not want to know the story.**

 **Me: Tell it Jem.**

 **Jem: Well, Will was out pretending to be drunk one night. He was at the bar when he discovered that the money he had taken with him had been taken from a perfectly charming little girl with blonde pigtails.**

 **Will: Tell them the next part!**

 **Jem: He pursued the little girl but when he came close he discovered that the little girl was in actual fact a nasty dwarf of a man named Six Fingered Nigel.**

 **Cecily: That was the second strangest story I have heard this year.**

 **Sophie: What was the first?**

 **Cecily: Knowing that most of the people I've met today are dead.**

 **Me: Actually, you lot are all dead apart from Jem and Tessa. How does that feel? But we somehow took you back in time to when Will was dead and everyone was else was post 2008 apart from Cecily, Gabriel, Gideon and Sophie. Huh.**

 **Silence.**

 **Me: OK, so Cecily; who is the most handsome out of Gideon and Jem?**

 **Will: This is brilliant!**

 **Gabriel: I am glad that I am not insanely jealous unlike some people I can recall.**

 **Will: Are you implying something, Lightworm?**

 **Cecily: So I have to choose between Mr Lightwood and Mr Carstairs?**

 **Me: Yes.**

 **Cecily: In that case I must say Jem.**

 **Me: Why?**

 **Cecily: If I had said Gideon, Gabriel would have had a fit and would have been jealous of his brother. Now, it is fine that I have said I would rather like a 130 year old.**

 **Me: Good logic.**

 **Will: She is a Herondale after all.**

 **Jace: HERONDALE POWER!**

 **Me: Jace, go back to Clary.**

 **Jace runs away.**

 **Me: Gabriel; do you love Cecily?**

 **Gabriel: Well, Cecy is…**

 **Will: The next words out of your mouth had better be 'she is beautiful and I adore her for that' or I will kill you.**

 **Cecily: Aww, Will, Gabriel, you are so adorable.**

 **Gabriel: I love her. Ever since she was by that horse and we kissed and…**

 **Will: Wait, you kissed her? Lightworm!**

 **Gabriel: LIGHTWOOD.**

 **Cecily: Gentlemen, please.**

 **Tessa: Will, don't make a scene. Not here.**

 **Will: I have made so many scenes today. You cannot use that excuse to make me be quiet.**

 **Me: Sophie!**

 **Sophie: I was not falling asleep against Gideon's shoulder.**

 **Gideon: Yes you were.**

 **Sophie: You do not understand the meaning of sarcasm, dear.**

 **Gideon scoffs: I've lived in a mansion with Will and Gabriel. Believe me, I do know.**

 **Jem: Is Sophie going to be Sophie Lightwood then?**

 **Sophie: Um.**

 **Gideon: Yes, she will be.**

 **Me: Sophie, would you learn to lap dance for Gideon?**

 **Gideon's eyes widen.**

 **Jessamine: What is that?**

 **Tessa: Wow.**

 **Jem: WOW.**

 **Will: WHOA.**

 **Cecily: What?**

 **Gabriel: What?**

 **Sophie: I do not understand.**

 **Will: Tessa and I will explain.**

 **Tessa: NO WE WILL NOT!**

 **Gideon: It is a dance that is meant to arouse the male participant and the female wears very scandalous clothing.**

 **Sophie: And has this ever happened to you, my dear Gideon?**

 **Audience gasps.**

 **Gideon: Um, no, it has not, but during my time in Spain, I saw many shocking things.**

 **Me: Well, Sophie, what is your reply?**

 **Sophie: I doubt so.**

 **Will: SHE DID NOT SAY NO!**

 **Gideon: That thought is both shocking and pleasant.**

 **Me: Gideon, do you like Jessamine or Tessa more?**

 **Jem: This will be interesting. I hope.**

 **Jessamine: But my heart belongs to Nate!**

 **Tessa: What, my sick and twisted brother?**

 **Audience boos.**

 **Gideon: I choose neither. I love my Sophie.**

 **Gideon leans down to kiss Sophie.**

 **Me: I don't care how cute it is, you have to choose one.**

 **Gideon: Fine, I choose Jessie.**

 **Me: Why?**

 **Gideon: Simple. I don't want to fight Will. Or Jem.**

 **Me: Reasonable answer.**

 **Will: Is that it now? I really need to go marry Tessa. And then see where my children are when we married before. I want to know where James and Lucie are. Didn't James marry Cordelia? And what happened to Stephen? I AM SO CONFUSED!**

 **Tessa: Will, our children are no longer with us. Jace is the last Herondale. And when he marries Clary and they have children, they will be the last Herondales.**

 **Silence from Will.**

 **Me: Tessa, what did you do to Will?**

 **Tessa: Nothing. He is often silent when we are alone together.**

 **Me: So, the last question goes to Jessamine.**

 **Jessamine: Let's get this over with.**

 **Everyone groans.**

 **Tessa: Do you have to be quite so rude and as if you are distressed?**

 **Will: She quite obviously is distressed and rue. Not quite as rude as me however.**

 **Me: Your question is: How does it feel to be a ghost?**

 **Cecily jumps into Gabriel's arms: She is a ghost?**

 **Will: Yes she is.**

 **Tessa: I had forgotten that.**

 **Jem: I am quite certain that everyone forgot everything after Sophie and Gideon's questions.**

 **Jessamine: Being a ghost is adequate. I hate the new resident of the London Institute. I preferred it in the 1800's. They speak horridly and the women wear ridiculous clothing.**

 **Me: Well, I guess that wraps up the show…**

 **Magnus: Not quite darling.**

 **Jace: We've decided that we'd like a boy only and girl only show. Boys first.**

 **Clary: Ugh, you're so annoying Jace.**

 **Tessa: Language Fray.**

 **Jace: She'll be a Herondale soon. Spoiler alert! Next book is our honeymoon.**

 **Clary: It had better be in the Bahamas.**

 **Jace: Clary, anywhere with me is a holiday.**

 **Jem: You can tell that he is your relative Will.**

 **Will: Yes, yes you can.**


	5. The Boys

**Hi guys! Thanks for all the reviews so far and I'm really glad you're enjoying it as much as I am. The school term is ending and the summer holidays are soon, so hopefully updates will be quicker but don't expect anything, as I may have a life during it :)**

 **Please can you tell me if you want anything specific I will ask them, like Gideon, because I'm unsure about him.**

 **Thanks for reading :)**

* * *

 **Chapter Five**

 **Me: OK, all girls out.**

 **Girls file out.**

 **Tessa: Will, do not answer anything strange about us. Jem, that goes for you too.**

 **Clary: Same for you Jace.**

 **Me: OK, so we have:**

 **Will: Hello again (Girls scream).**

 **Jace: Hey ladies! (Girls scream again).**

 **Jem: Hi (Girls cheer).**

 **Simon: …What's up? (Everyone laughs).**

 **Alec: Hey (Audience titters).**

 **Magnus: Hello darlings! (Everyone laughs again).**

 **Sebastian: I'm back! (Audience boos).**

 **Gabriel: I wish I were with Cecily, I mean hi (Audience awws).**

 **Gideon: Shut up brother (Audience claps).**

 **Me: So, we're all back. This time, it's all male, all relatives and just Sebastian and Simon all lonely.**

 **Sebastian and Simon: HEY!**

 **Me: So, guess I'll have to find more questions for you. In the meantime, have conversations guys.**

 **All look at Will.**

 **Will: What? Do you expect me to have a whole conversation already mapped out? Did you expect me to start talking about purple hedgehogs and polka dots?**

 **Jem: Not at all.**

 **Jace: I think you just did though.**

 **Will: You are my descendant; you cannot talk back to me.**

 **Jace: Considering we're practically the same age right now.**

 **Will: Except I am dead.**

 **Jace: Yes, there's that.**

 **Silence again.**

 **Gabriel: I would like to say something.**

 **Will: If it is anything to do with Cecily, save it Lightworm.**

 **Alec: Excuse me, I am a Lightwood.**

 **Will: That just gives me more excuse to not give him a blessing for the wedding.**

 **Magnus: This is so entertaining.**

 **Gideon: I agree with that statement.**

 **Jem: A thousand times over.**

 **Simon: You're really quiet over there Sebastian.**

 **Sebastian: I'm thinking of all the bad things I've done in life.**

 **Jace: Let's start a list!**

 **Simon: Don't be rude Jacey.**

 **Jace: Don't call me Jacey. And he is a mass murderer.**

 **Me: OK, I'm back. What were you guys talking about?**

 **Everyone: Nothing!**

 **Me: OK. First question goes to Will.**

 **Will: Alright then.**

 **Me: Who's hotter: You or Jace?**

 **Jace: He's obviously going to say him. That's a dumb question.**

 **Will: Jace.**

 **Audience: Gasps!**

 **Jace: Really?**

 **Will: Yes. I am dead and he is a Herondale. He is descended form me, therefore he is amazing. We are the same. Strangely, Alec seems to have my features…Gabriel, WHAT DID YOU DO?**

 **Gabriel: Um, uh, um, I um, I guess, that, um, things, um, happened…**

 **Gideon: Worst thing on Earth to tell Will.**

 **Massive fight between Will and Gabriel. Will wins.**

 **Will: I feel better now.**

 **Simon: He's so like Jace.**

 **Magnus: Uh huh.**

 **Me: Right. Jace.**

 **Jace is still recovering from shock.**

 **Me: Your question is: would you rather have Isabelle be Clary and Clary be Isabelle or would you swop places with Simon?**

 **Simon: Whoa. That's means I'd be with a weird version of Clary/Isabelle.**

 **Jace: That means I'd technically be with Isabelle! I can't answer. Actually, I would swop places with Simon, because then I'd get Clary. Or I wouldn't. Um, I'd be a geek. Worth it I guess.**

 **Magnus: How cute!**

 **Me: Jem, this is your question. Would you rather have never been a silent brother and died and let Will have Tessa or would you rather have stayed in China?**

 **Silence.**

 **Will: I do believe that that has gone too far.**

 **Gabriel: That was a very poor choice of a question.**

 **Gideon: Let Jem answer.**

 **Jem: I would rather have died than gone to China and never met Tessa. I know Will loves her as much as I do, maybe even more, but meeting Tessa was the highlight in my life, along with becoming this one's parabatai.**

 **Will: Thank you brother.**

 **Simon: This stuff never happens in our time.**

 **Jace: Yes it does. It has. You just can't remember.**

 **Magnus: I would love to refresh his mind.**

 **Alec: NO Magnus.**

 **Me: OK, Simon.**

 **Simon: Yes?**

 **Me: What would you do if you got turned into a rat again?**

 **Simon: I got turned into a rat?**

 **Jace: Yes, where we first met Magnus.**

 **Magnus: Where I first met the boy with blue eyes.**

 **Alec: A good day.**

 **Simon: Oh yeah. Well, I would be sure to bite Jace's toes, if he were barefoot. Then, I would try to go into people's bedrooms, because you find stuff in there that you don't find anywhere else.**

 **Silence.**

 **Will: That is probably what I would do.**

 **Sebastian: That's what I would have done in a previous life.**

 **Me: Alec, here's your question.**

 **Alec: I won't answer everything.**

 **Me: Would you dress in a glitter outfit if Magnus begged you to?**

 **Alec: Um…**

 **Magnus: I tried this once. He was drunk.**

 **Jace: And…how did that go?**

 **Magnus: Badly.**

 **Simon: Sounds good.**

 **Gideon: You seem to have more fun than we do.**

 **Will: Apart from me. I had the most fun out of all of you.**

 **Sebastian: I seriously doubt that.**

 **Will: What does that mean?**

 **Sebastian: I don't know. That was the old me. I'm turning a new leaf.**

 **Jace snorts: Clary's the only one who believes that Morgenstern.**

 **Will: HE'S A MORGENSTERN?**

 **Simon: Yeah…**

 **Will: I have a history with them.**

 **Me: Alec; answer the question.**

 **Alec: I suppose I would, if I was 'highly intoxicated'.**

 **Jace: Good answer man.**

 **Alec: You're supposed to say that; you're my parabatai.**

 **Simon: Guys, have you seen Jordan?**

 **All in silence.**

 **Jordan walks in, his hair mussed: Um, hey guys. I didn't miss anything did I?**

 **Magnus: Where have you been werewolf?**

 **Gideon: I think I know.**

 **Jace: I'm pretty sure her name begins with M and rhymes with aia.**

 **Jordan blushes: I was in the bathroom.**

 **Gabriel: Are you a Downworlder?**

 **Simon: I was a Downworlder!**

 **Jordan: I'm dead Shadowhunter. Don't worry about me, because** _ **someone**_ **killed me.**

 **Gabriel: I won't then.**

 **Sebastian: I said I was sorry.**

 **Me: So, that's that. Magnus.**

 **Magnus: Finally, my turn. It's dreadful to have to wait!**

 **Gabriel: Tell me about it. Gideon fell asleep five minutes ago and he keeps on mumbling about Sophie.**

 **Will: Not as if you keep on thinking about Cecy.**

 **Gabriel: That's different. We are engaged to be married.**

 **Will: No you're not. Anyway, so are Sophie and Gideon. Except that they are official.**

 **Me: Magnus, you can choose. What was your life like before you were a warlock or what's your dad like?**

 **Alec: I know one of those. Then again, Magnus doesn't tell me much.**

 **Magnus: We've had this conversation before, Alexander.**

 **Jace: Ooh, he called him Alexander!**

 **Jem: It is strange seeing Magnus without a British accent or clothing. Victorian I mean.**

 **Me: Magnus is fully clothed, folks at home.**

 **Sebastian: Isn't his dad some kind of demon king?**

 **Magnus and Alec: Prince. Demon Prince.**

 **Jace: Obviously he needed clarity there.**

 **Simon: Isn't Magnus' dad the one who took my memories?**

 **Jace: Yep.**

 **Will: This gentleman sounds interesting.**

 **Jem: And loquacious.**

 **Me: Yep, he is. This will be continued after the ad break!**


	6. The Boys Exit

**Yes, you lucky people get two chapters in one day! Sorry again for chapter five, but I hope you'll keep reading. Izzle:)**

* * *

 **Chapter Six**

 **Me: And we're back. Magnus was about to say something.**

 **Magnus: I was going to say that my father is one of the nine princes of Hell. He took away one of all my friends' memories and he is evil.**

 **Will: Sounds like a fun man. Better than Mortmain anyway.**

 **Jem: Do not speak of Mortmain. He brought harm to Tessa.**

 **Will: He did have a nice cave for Tess and me.**

 **Jordan: Caves?**

 **Me: DON'T BREAK JORDAN'S MIND GUYS!**

 **Jordan: I'm Praetor Lupus! I need strength!**

 **Simon: You're dead Jordan. Give it a rest already.**

 **Me: Sebastian, your turn!**

 **Sebastian: I don't feel confident.**

 **Jace: Imagine that.**

 **Me: Your question is: Which was better in your mind; killing Max, killing Jordan or killing Hodge?**

 **Silence.**

 **Jordan: I'm just gonna back out of this.**

 **Simon: That is not a fair question.**

 **Sebastian: Right now, I'm saying that if I'd left the others and just killed Hodge, things would be a lot better. Max would be alive and he would be with the Lightwood's and Jordan would be still be with Maia.**

 **Jordan: And not with Bat. Ugh Bat.**

 **Gabriel: OK, we understand that you do not favour this 'Bat'.**

 **Gideon: Did I miss anything?**

 **Will: Yes, Sophie came in and proceeded to undress in front of us all and did very inappropriate things. While you were asleep.**

 **Gideon: She did what?**

 **Will: Just joking.**

 **Me: Gabriel, your question, and boy will it leave your and Will's relationship changed forever.**

 **Gabriel: Oh yay. This is going to be worse that Six Fingered Nigel.**

 **Tessa: Do not mention it.**

 **Me: Tessa, love, go away will you?**

 **Will: Tess, you don't want me to tell people about what else happened in that cave, do you?**

 **Tessa leaves and audience laughs.**

 **Me: Gabriel, who would be the best man at your wedding? Who would be the flower bearer? What colour would the men's ties be?**

 **Gabriel: Um, the best man would be Gideon. He is my brother.**

 **Gideon: Really brother? I had no idea!**

 **Gabriel: The flower bearer would be either Tessa or would be Sophie.**

 **Will and Gideon: Obviously.**

 **Gabriel: The colour would be blue.**

 **Magnus: These things will happen. That's the funny part about this whole thing.**

 **Will: Sounds like a fun wedding. Apart from the fact that you're marrying my sister.**

 **Me: Gideon's turn.**

 **Gideon: Can we make this quick? I have to get back to Sophie.**

 **Me: Don't worry Gideon.**

 **Gabriel: He's in such a hurry. I liked it more when you were asleep.**

 **Me: Gideon, would you like Sophie more with or without her scar?**

 **Silence.**

 **Jem: Wow that is a good question.**

 **Jace: he has to pick the exact right answer.**

 **Simon: I'm recording this to show Sophie later.**

 **Gideon: No pressure there. I would say…with the scar because she has had the scar ever since I met her. I love her just the way she is.**

 **Crowd awws.**

 **Me: Aww. How cute. Last question is for Jordan. And he already looks terrified, how sweet.**

 **Jordan: I am not terrified. I'm nervous. Major difference.**

 **Me: Sure. Well, here it is.**

 **Drum roll.**

 **Me: Jordan, how did you feel when you died?**

 **Jace: I could tell you how I felt when I died. Oh wait, you guys don't know about that.**

 **Will: YOU DIED?!**

 **Jace: Yep.**

 **Gabriel: I can't believe I'm going to be related to the Herondales. Apart from Cecy.**

 **Jordan: I felt like I had a silver dagger stabbed in my chest. Like you do. I was just glad that Maia was holding me. Oh, and I got a good look at my killer.**

 **Sebastian: I'M SORRY, OK? I am Jonathan now.**

 **Me: Still calling you Sebastian buddy.**

 **Magnus: Can I go now? I do believe this means it's the girls' turn and Alec and I can go home.**

 **Alec: Actually, I promised Izzy that I'd stay.**

 **Magnus: Ugh.**

 **Me: Yes, you boys are free to go. Say bye. But not Will and Jace.**

 **Jem: Bye. I'll see you later Will.**

 **Simon: I'm outtie.**

 **Alec: Bye.**

 **Magnus: Ta ta darlings.**

 **Sebastian: Bye.**

 **Gabriel: To wait for Cecily!**

 **Gideon: To wait for Sophie!**

 **Jordan: To wait for Maia!**

 **They all walk out apart from Will and Jace.**

 **Will: Why are you keeping us here? I must get to Tess before Jem does!**

 **Me: You guys are going to be our guest stars for the girls' version of the show.**

 **Jace: This is going to be good.**

 **Will high fives Jace.**

 **Me: We'll be back for the girl version after the ad break.**


	7. The Girls

**Hello and SCHOOL'S OUT FOR SUMMER! Hope you guys are loving this story as much as mine :)**

 **And I don't own the characters, Cassie Clare does so unfair :(**

* * *

 **Chapter Seven**

 **Me: So hello and welcome to the girls' version of the boys' version of Question Time. This show was due to finish two hours ago but Magnus Bane made sure to keep this show going for at least two more days. Thanks Magnus!**

 **Magnus: No sweat sugar. Wait, I'm supposed to be in my dressing room. I was never here.**

 **Me: So, here are all the girls:**

 **Clary: Hi! (Crowd cheers).**

 **Tessa: Good afternoon (Crowd cheers).**

 **Isabelle: Hey (Crowd screams).**

 **Cecily: Hi (Guys scream).**

 **Maia: Hello people! (Crowd cheers).**

 **Sophie: Good day (Crowd claps).**

 **Jessamine: Ugh, not this again (Crowd boos).**

 **Me: So, it's an entire girl's show and I don't have any questions. I'll need to think of some soon.**

 **Cecily: Tessa, how are you doing without Will? Or Jem?**

 **Tessa: How are you doing without Gabriel?**

 **Cecily: I do not care to answer that.**

 **Clary: Did any of you just see Will and Jace?**

 **Jessamine: Ugh, it is plain that they are hiding behind that curtain.**

 **Will: Damn! We've been spotted.**

 **Jace: Let's just stay here anyway.**

 **Cecily: You men are awful hiders.**

 **Maia: I can't believe that you and Will are related.**

 **Jessamine: I don't think anyone can.**

 **Cecily: Apart from Will.**

 **Me: OK, so the first question goes to Clarissa.**

 **Clary: Cool.**

 **Isabelle: This'll be good.**

 **Jace: I am totally listening now.**

 **Will: You sound like a fourteen year old version of Six Fingered Nigel.**

 **Jace: Who's' Six Fingered Nigel?**

 **Will: Were you not there when I explained to everyone about him? Oh yes, you were not. A story for your wedding party young Herondale.**

 **Me: Clary, would you rather kiss Jace if he had rabies or if he had a deadly contagious disease?**

 **Will: She didn't ask these types of questions at our one, did she?**

 **Jace: Nope.**

 **Clary: I would kiss him either ways. I would still love him.**

 **Will: You chose a good one Jace.**

 **Jace: That's the first time you've called me Jace.**

 **Will: Don't expect it to happen again.**

 **Me: You have to choose one.**

 **Clary: Fine. I'd kiss him if he had a deadly contagious disease. No matter what, I DO NOT WANT RABIES.**

 **Isabelle: You say it girlfriend.**

 **Maia: I would have said that too.**

 **Tessa: You realise that Jace was listening to every word.**

 **Clary: Oh, I was aware.**

 **Me: Next question goes to Tessa.**

 **Tessa: Very well.**

 **Will: This will be interesting.**

 **Me: Whose kisses were better: when you were with Jem in his room or when you were in the cave with Will?**

 **Tessa blushes.**

 **Jace smirks: She's rendered speechless.**

 **Will: I have that affect on women, but not normally on Tessa. Wait, she was in Jem's room. Jem kissed her?!**

 **Jace: They were engaged to be married…**

 **Cecily: That is a very difficult question.**

 **Jessamine: Sounds simple to me.**

 **Clary: So glad Jace and I are complicated in another way that isn't like this.**

 **Tessa: This matter is very delicate. Jem and I were interrupted by his…condition. I never had anything real with Jem but the moments we had were sweet. Will and I are a different matter entirely. I suppose I must say…Will.**

 **Will: Yes!**

 **Jace: Keep it down idiot.**

 **Will: Well, excuse me!**

 **Me: Now onto Isabelle's question.**

 **Isabelle: Let's get this over and done with. I have a hot date with Simon and Chairman Meow.**

 **Magnus: Stay away from my cat!**

 **Me: Magnus, go.**

 **Magnus leaves.**

 **Me: Isabelle, would you rather have turned Simon into a manatee or a cow?**

 **Silence.**

 **Isabelle: What kind of question is that?**

 **Cecily: What is a manatee?**

 **Maia: That would have been damn funny.**

 **Tessa: A manatee is a sea cow. But cute.**

 **Jace: I would have paid to see Simon get turned into a cow.**

 **Sophie: I wouldn't want Gideon turned into either of them.**

 **Clary: Wondered where you'd gone. Fell asleep with dreams of Gideon, didn't you?**

 **Sophie: I really don't care to answer that.**

 **Jessamine: She did not deny it.**

 **Isabelle: I would turn him into a cow.**

 **Jace: So she could ride him all day.**

 **Will smirks.**

 **Me: So, Cecily, your question.**

 **Cecily: Yes Gabriel. I mean, OK.**

 **Will: I can't believe she's thinking about Lightworm.**

 **Jace: Guess she's serious about him.**

 **Will; UGH!**

 **Me: So, who would be the bridesmaid at your wedding? Who would be the flower bearer? What colour would the dresses be?**

 **Cecily: Um, my bridesmaid would be Tessa probably. The flower bearer would be Sophie. The dresses would probably be blue.**

 **Will: Fits with Gabriel's plan.**

 **Jace: It's like they were made for each other.**

 **Will: I hate you sometimes, Jace.**

 **Jace: Thanks.**

 **Me: Sounds sweet. Maia, your turn.**

 **Maia: Yay, another question.**

 **Clary: Was that sarcastic, Maia?**

 **Maia: Yes, it was.**

 **Me: You never did answer that question of whether you love Bat or Jordan more. What about that shower scene? Or the gentleness of Bat? Do you prefer Jordan's nervousness + strength or Bat's kindness?**

 **Maia: Um…**

 **Jace: Totally going on video for Jordan later.**

 **Maia: Jordan's dead. I shouldn't be answering this. I loved him, he was my first love. But I think he loved me too much. Bat is refreshing and I like him a lot. I love them both in their own ways.**

 **Sophie: How sweet is that? How perfectly beautiful! They are lucky to have you, Miss Roberts.**

 **Me: Good thing you're talking Sophie, it's your turn!**

 **Sophie: Oh dear. I really don't want a repeat of what happened earlier.**

 **Will: That question earlier was spectacular.**

 **Jace: Gideon's face!**

 **Me: We'll find out what happens, after the ad break!**


	8. The girls again

**Hey guys, kinda rushed, but here's the next chapter, hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

 **Chapter Eight**

 **Me: Welcome back to this program which is still going on. Thanks again Magnus, for ruining my weekend. So, I was about to ask Sophie her question, but before I do, how are our male spies doing?**

 **Jace: Things are going well. We've got food, water, a bathroom and enough entertainment to keep us going for a long time longer.**

 **Will: And he's got me as well. That is all that really matters.**

 **Me: Looks like they're happy over there.**

 **Sophie: Can we get my question done? I want to be done here so I can excuse myself.**

 **Cecily: Impatient to get to Gideon are we?**

 **Sophie blushes: That is completely beside the point.**

 **Tessa: No it isn't. That is the point.**

 **Me: OK, as much as I love gossip with TMI and TID, we need to actually finish our show. Otherwise the producers will sack me, and we do not want that.**

 **Clary: Yeah, and I need to get to Jace.**

 **Silence.**

 **Clary: I was the only one brave enough to say where I'm really going. I deserve something for that.**

 **Tessa: Like what?**

 **Clary: Like…a seraph blade.**

 **Jessamine: Ugh, women nowadays. Into seraph blades and weaponry.**

 **Isabelle: That's kinda what a Shadowhunter needs to be one.**

 **Jessamine: Shadowhunters, the horrid people.**

 **Cecily: You are a Shadowhunter.**

 **Jessamine:** _ **Not**_ **a true one.**

 **Me: OK, Sophie, would you rather have been treated nicely by the man who gave you the scar so you wouldn't have got it, or would you have the life you have now?**

 **Tessa: That is difficult. She hates her scar with every fibre of her being. She is certain it takes away her prettiness.**

 **Clary: But she is beautiful. She must see it in Gideon's face!**

 **Sophie: I would…keep the life I have now. I would never have been taken in by Charlotte and then never have met Gideon. It is a definite.**

 **Jace: I am sooo bored.**

 **Will: Well it is Jessie's turn next, so prepare for more boredom.**

 **Jace: Was that supposed to help me?**

 **Will: Not at all.**

 **Me: Alright, so the last question of the night is for Jessamine, unless Magnus changes it again.**

 **Jessamine: Finally, my turn. I have had to stay here sitting silently for practically the entire night.**

 **Clary: Yeah right. You've been commenting on everything half the time.**

 **Will: True.**

 **Jace: I agree with everything she says so yeah.**

 **Will: You've become entranced by her.**

 **Jace: Not like you're completely stupefied by Tessa or anything…**

 **Will: Definitely not.**

 **Me: So Jessamine, what was it like to live in the Institute with everyone you didn't know?**

 **Jessamine: Well, if it was frightful living with Will when he thought he was cursed, it was worse living with people I didn't know, and I couldn't tell people I was there because they would've been terrified. I do not enjoy being a ghost, but I cannot be bothered to move on from this world.**

 **Jace: I can't believe she managed to fit you in a sentence when you weren't even there.**

 **Will: Women do that.**

 **Me: Well, that seem like a fitting end to that. If I could have the boys back…**

 **All the boys walk back in.**

 **Simon: That was the longest I've ever been in a room with no games console.**

 **Clary: You alright Si?**

 **Simon: it was torture.**

 **Isabelle: It's OK Simon!**

 **Will: I hate stakeouts. It was amusing, but loquacious.**

 **Jem: Have you found the meaning of that word yet?**

 **Jace: No.**

 **Magnus: If you would ask me…**

 **Alec: I don't think so.**

 **Gabriel: Cecily! I missed you so much!**

 **Cecily: Gabriel!**

 **They kiss and Will eyes them, disgusted.**

 **Will: Break it up.**

 **Gideon: Sophie, have you had a nice time?**

 **Sophie: Finally!**

 **Me: Well, while this is sweet and all, I need to ask Magnus whether I can release you all, or whether we will be staying here for another two hours.**

 **All look to Magnus.**

 **Magnus: Well, it is midnight and I need to feed Chairman Meow, but we'll all be back tomorrow.**

 **Me: That's what he said. We'll be back tomorrow. Say bye everyone! Not Will and Jace.**

 **Everyone apart from Will and Jace: Bye!**

 **Clary and Tessa: We'll wait for you!**

 **Jace: I really want to sleep. Unlike some people.**

 **Will: Is that implying something about me? If so, I really do want to sleep.**

 **Me: You guys are really good narrators. Maybe next time, you could ask the questions?**

 **Will: Perhaps…**

 **Jace: Well, we are fabulous.**

 **Will: That is true.**

 **Me: OK, go home guys, get some sleep. See you tomorrow!**

 **Both say bye and stride off to Tessa and Clary.**

 **Me: Tune in next time for another edition of Question Time!**


	9. The Jace and Will show?

**Sorry for not updating sooner.**

* * *

 **Chapter Nine**

 **Me: It's tomorrow morning. I'm sure you've all been anxious enough to wait for the cast of TID and TMI to return. But this time, Will and Jace are asking the questions. What have I agreed to?**

 **Jace: My first decree as The Person Who Asks The Questions is to sack you as Questioner!**

 **Me: What?! You can't do that!**

 **Will: Actually, he can. And he will. With my permission.**

 **Clary: Why did you ever agree to this?**

 **Tessa: A stupid decision.**

 **Me: I know. It was in the spur of the moment.**

 **Jace: Well, too late to change it. Now for the new theme tune!**

 **Will: Hello and welcome to the WILL AND JACE SHOW!**

 **Audience claps.**

 **Me: Wait, what?**

 **Jace: Today we are questioning the people who the person questioned yesterday, but it'll be awesomer because we are the new interrogators!**

 **Simon: Catchy.**

 **Will: The first thing we need to do is to ask the previous host to graciously step down.**

 **Me: NEVER!**

 **Tessa: Will, are you sure this isn't going too far?**

 **Will: Certainly not!**

 **Jace: Security!**

 **Gabriel: Is it too late to ask you if I can disown him?**

 **Cecily: Much too late.**

 **Security takes me offstage.**

 **Me: I'll be back!**

 **Jace: OK, so the first people we will be questioning are:**

 **Simon: Hey!**

 **Clary: Hiya.**

 **Gabriel: Hello again.**

 **Jace: Cecily, I mean not!**

 **Gabriel: You mean no Cecily?**

 **Jace: No Cecily.**

 **Will: So we are breaking up everyone into three. We have Simon, Clary and Gabriel.**

 **Gabriel: I do not even know them!**

 **Jace: Maybe that's why we put you in there.**

 **Clary: Hey Lewis.**

 **Simon: Hey Fray.**

 **Clary: I feel as if I haven't talked to you in ages.**

 **Simon: You talked to me an hour ago.**

 **Clary: Practically ages.**

 **Gabriel: Why did you have to separate me from Cecily?**

 **Simon: Having issues there Gabriel?**

 **Gabriel: The idea!**

 **Will: This is highly amusing.**

 **Jace: It'll be better once you've helped me with this.**

 **Clary: …Yeah, so then he jumped up screaming and the whole time it wasn't a real one but a toy duck!**

 **Jace: Are you telling them about when you took me to Wal-Mart's?**

 **Clary…Maybe…**

 **Simon: That is hilarious!**

 **Gabriel: I can envision a series of interesting Herondale family reunions.**

 **Will: You are correct there.**

 **Jace: So we have two questions for each of you and if you can't answer the question, you will have to do a forfeit.**

 **Simon: I hate forfeits!**

 **Clary: Oh, this is going to be great; Herondales asking the questions.**

 **Gabriel: What is a forfeit?**

 **Clary: You'll see.**

 **Will: Question one will go to Simon.**

 **Simon: Yippee.**

 **Jace: Do I detect sarcasm?**

 **Simon: Absolutely not.**

 **Clary: Yeah, that's sarcasm…**

 **Jace: Simon, whose blood was better; Mine, Alec's or Isabelle's?**

 **Clary: You drank Isabelle's blood?**

 **Simon: How do you know that? Only Izzy and I knew.**

 **Jace: I have my sources.**

 **Gabriel: Wait, he's a vampire? A downworlder?**

 **Simon: No, I'm a Shadowhunter. I used to be a vampire.**

 **Gabriel: That is…confusing…**

 **Jace: I know right.**

 **Simon: I'll say Isabelle's because I was completely sane and not dying or anything when it happened.**

 **Clary: Seems reasonable.**

 **Gabriel: Wait, he was a downworlder?**

 **Will: Yes he was, get it in your thick skull, Lightworm. I cannot see anything Cecily sees in you.**

 **Gabriel: Thanks for that Will. I cannot see anything Tessa sees in you!**

 **Will: You are welcome. And Tessa sees what the entire female population sees.**

 **Clary: I really want to go to Gabriel's wedding now.**

 **Gabriel: We are only engaged! Cecily is fifteen and I am seventeen. I do not see Will or their parents letting us get married now.**

 **Will: That is correct.**

 **Simon: What I can't wait for is Clary and Jace's wedding.**

 **Clary: I've already talked to the tailors and they agreed with my idea to get ducks stitched onto Jace's suit.**

 **Jace: You wouldn't.**

 **Clary: Try me.**

 **Silence.**

 **Clary and Jace stare at each other.**

 **Simon: You could cut the tension in here with a large kitchen knife.**

 **Gabriel: I doubt that that would be wise.**

 **Simon: It's an expression. You have heard about expressions, right?**

 **Gabriel: Don't be smart with me. I'm at least two hundred years your senior.**

 **Will: OK, next question goes to Clary.**

 **Clary: I am terrified.**

 **Jace: I AM GOING TO ASK THIS QUESTION!**

 **Simon: Yeah, I now feel terrified too.**

 **Gabriel: You either feel terrified or disgusted with the male Herondales.**

 **Will: Or entranced and stupefied.**

 **Clary: Definitely stupefied.**

 **Jace: Hey, you're going to be a Herondale if Cassandra Clare says so.**

 **Clary: Oh well, guess I'll have to go have some fun as a Fairchild for the next few weeks then.**

 **Magnus: Those few weeks will be spent here, biscuit.**

 **Jace: Go away Magnus. Alec needs you.**

 **Magnus: That's not a valid argument; Alec always needs me.**

 **Magnus leaves.**

 **Jace: Clary, how did you feel about the cave?**

 **Simon: CAN WE PLEASE STOP HAVING DISCUSSIONS ABOUT HERONDALES AND CAVES?**

 **Will: Jeez, fine.**

 **Jace: Spoilsport.**

 **Simon: Not a spoilsport. I'm pretty sure the audience is tired of hearing about that specific discussion though, am I right?**

 **Audience is silent.**

 **Will smirks: As you were saying Jace?**

 **Jace: Ah yes. Clary: what would you do if you went back in time, but you had swopped places with Simon? Knowing that you would never have me?**

 **Clary: But then you would be a male version of Isabelle. And Isabelle would be you. Man that would be weird.**

 **Simon: And I would be with a female version of Jace! UGH!**

 **Jace: I have not thought this question through. But still, you have to answer it.**

 **Clary: I will not.**

 **Will: FORFEIT!**

 **Simon: I hope you survive this.**

 **Gabriel: She probably won't.**

 **Clary: Thanks for the confidence boost, Lightwood.**

 **Gabriel: At least you called me by my proper name.**

 **Clary: When I'm a Herondale, don't expect it to happen again.**

 **Will: OK, so the forfeit is: You have to sit on Gabriel's lap for the entire rest of the night, or you have to kiss me for two minutes.**

 **Jace: I did not agree to this.**

 **Clary: Even if 'Herondales are all exactly the same', I'm gonna go with sitting on Gabriel's lap.**

 **Gabriel: This is highly improper.**

 **Simon: We threw proper out the window when we first started this show.**

 **Clary goes to sit on Gabriel's lap: You OK there Gabriel?**

 **Gabriel: If you could sit on my right knee, Miss Fairchild, I think everyone here would be happier.**

 **Simon: Yeah Fray. Stay away from the fly.**

 **Clary blushes.**

 **Jace: Well, all happy here isn't it?**

 **Will: Very happy. Lightworm's turn!**

 **Gabriel: I am not even going to correct you this time.**

 **Will: He has succumbed!**

 **Clary: What does that even mean?**

 **Magnus: It means that Gabriel has fallen due to the amount of pressure William was placing on his ego.**

 **Silence.**

 **Jace: Way to make the mood go down all the way on the Jace scale.**

 **Clary: Only the audience believes in the Jace scale.**

 **Jace: You do too.**

 **Clary: No I do not.**

 **Simon: Ooh! Couple arguments!**

 **Gabriel: Clarissa, could you please stop jiggling around so much?**

 **Jace: Yes Clary, stop jiggling!**

 **Clary blushes again.**

 **Simon: Is this a game? See how many times you can make Clary blush?**

 **Will: Obviously it is.**

 **Cecily: Is this done yet? I grow weary of waiting.**

 **Gabriel: Cecy!**

 **Will: Cecy, what are you doing here? This part of the show finishes in an hour. On the dot.**

 **Magnus: Not if I remove the dot.**

 **Jace: Cecily and Magnus, remove yourselves from the room.**

 **Audience gasps.**

 **Clary: Jace; that was the smartest thing you've ever said. Ever.**

 **Jace: I'm amazing, I know.**

 **Cecily: I can tell that he's a Herondale.**

 **Cecily leaves.**

 **Gabriel: She's gone…she didn't even say hello…**

 **Simon: Is this how I am with Isabelle?**

 **Clary: Yes.**

 **Simon: Um, that's awkward.**

 **Will: Lightworm's question is: How do you feel about knowing that Alec and Isabelle Lightwood are your descendants and that meant that you definitely have a cave with Cecily?**

 **Clary: I can't believe those words came out of Will's mouth. Jace I can understand, but Will!**

 **Jace: Hey! I may be blunt, but I wouldn't ask a question like that!**

 **Simon: I can see that happening though.**

 **Gabriel: Um…I do not see myself answering that question.**

 **Will: You have to.**

 **Gabriel: I had thought I could try a forfeit.**

 **Will: No. I want to know the answer to this question. Also, Clarissa is sitting on your lap so…**

 **Clary: I could move…**

 **Jace and Will: NO.**

 **Simon: This is** _ **the**_ **most awkward question of the night.**

 **Clary: He's weighing up his options. He has to answer to his fiancé's brother and his descendants, if that makes sense. He knows what he feels in his heart, but he needs an answer that will hopefully avoid him getting beat up by Will. In my opinion, he is about to be killed by Will, either way.**

 **Silence. Man in audience whoops.**

 **Simon: Since when did you start taking narrating lessons from David Attenborough?**

 **Gabriel: Who is that?**

 **Simon:** _ **That**_ **question will take a very long time to answer.**

 **Will: You must answer my question, Lightworm!**

 **Gabriel: I feel…proud of myself and Cecily. I realise that I have not thought of children, I am only seventeen after all, but since we most obviously do, Isabelle and Alec seem to be very entertaining and delightful descendants.**

 **Jace: What an educated answer!**

 **Simon: He's sure made me feel dumb.**

 **Will: Good enough.**

 **Clary: So, can we go now or…**

 **Jace: And now we have an ad break, but come back because we are asking everyone their second question and annoy the guests even more.**

 **Simon: Can't afford to miss that.**

 **Will: Absolutely not!**

 **Gabriel: Why did I ever agree to take part in this show?**

 **Will: Because you wanted to be with Cecy.**

 **Gabriel:…Not entirely.**

 **Will: As soon as she said yes, you positively jumped at the idea.**

 **Simon: LOL.**

 **Clary: I thought I told you not to talk in text speak!**

 **Jace: Clary, during this ad break, shall we go for a walk?**

 **Simon: Will and I will be sure to stalk you!**

 **Will: I shall be occupied by Jem and Tessa.**

 **Simon: OK, me and Gabriel then!**

 **Gabriel: I do not think so.**

 **Simon: Guess it'll be me, Isabelle and Chairman Meow then.**

 **Magnus: I'm warning you…**

 **Jace: See you after the ad break!**


	10. What have they done now?

**So, I'm really glad you guys are enjoying this and are loving it. Some people are telling me to put Camille and stuff in there and I might have an awkward situation between her, Magnus and Alec...You like?**

 **Also, later there might be more angst created by Tessa, Will and Jem. Hope you guys like!**

* * *

 **Chapter Ten**

 **Will: Welcome back! We were in the middle of an exciting debate with Clary, Simon and Gabriel. Today, we have discovered a lot of things that we have never wanted to know. I blame Izzle for writing this story.**

 **Me: You can't argue that it's not entertaining.**

 **Simon: There is that.**

 **Jace: Izzle, you aren't supposed to be here. We specifically told security to not let you in.**

 **Me: Here's the thing; when you write a story and all the characters are saying stuff you imagined and doing things you told them to, you get a lot of perks, including get out of jail free cards.**

 **Silence.**

 **Clary: Way to show him, girl! (Audience cheers).**

 **Simon: She sure made you feel like chumps.**

 **Will: Careful Lewis, I can sic Jace and Chairman Meow on you.**

 **Magnus: What is it about everyone and my cat? Don't you have anything better to do?**

 **Gabriel: Apart from sitting in a blasted television program set? Not really.**

 **Will: So, Clarissa's question is first.**

 **Clary: Why me first? I'm already having a swell time on Gabriel's knee.**

 **Gabriel: It is highly uncomfortable. More uncomfortable than Agatha's blasted songs.**

 **Will: That** _ **is**_ **saying something. But, unfortunately, the bet must stay until the end of your interrogation.**

 **Me: Your interrogational skills require a lot of improvement.**

 **Jace: Can't you go away?**

 **Me: I don't want to.**

 **Simon: So…can I go now?**

 **Will: No.**

 **Simon: OK then.**

 **Silence.**

 **Jace: Clary, what about my appearance do you love most about me?**

 **Simon: You are so vain. But we knew that already.**

 **Me: I WROTE THAT QUESTION!**

 **Jace: I know. I stole it. And why are you sitting so close to Simon?**

 **Clary: Ooh, she's gonna get it from Izzy now.**

 **Me: Izzy won't come.**

 **Simon: Oh? Why not?**

 **Me: Because I control what she says and does. Everything that happens here is written by me. Ha!**

 **Jace: That was your comeback? Ha?**

 **Simon: I feel a sense of déjà vu.**

 **Jace: Probably because I told you that at one point.**

 **Isabelle: OK, who said anything about being close to Simon?**

 **Silence.**

 **Will: I think that Izzle should leave now.**

 **Me: I'm going.**

 **Gabriel: Can we please continue? My knee is growing sore. Clarissa, what have you been eating?**

 **Clary: Did you just insult my figure?**

 **Jace: He'll have to go through me.**

 **Simon: It's going down for real, do do do do do do do do…**

 **Clary: Don't sing Flo Rida, Si. Just no.**

 **Will: I will never understand modern music.**

 **Jace: Answer the question stated previously Clary.**

 **Clary: I have a real liking for your right ear.**

 **Simon: Yeah I know, there's something about it. I can't quite put my finger on it…**

 **Jace: Let's try this again. Clary, what about my features do you like the most?**

 **Clary: Well, I'd have to say…the little chip on your front tooth. It makes me feel good knowing that you aren't totally supremely perfect.**

 **Jace: Is that an insult?**

 **Clary: I'm saying this wrong. I think you're perfect Jace.**

 **Simon: Aww, how cute!**

 **Gabriel: Can you please go sit on Jace's lap?**

 **Will: No, she cannot.**

 **Clary jumps up to kiss Jace in the corner.**

 **Simon: It's at these moments when I don't know where to look. So, Gabriel, how's the engagement plans going?**

 **Will: It is not a real engagement.**

 **Gabriel: I think you will have to have a word with Cecily about that.**

 **Clary goes to sit on Gabriel's lap again.**

 **Will: Simon, your question is: Would you rather be Simon Lewis or Simon Lightwood?**

 **Simon: Well, with Izzy, I'm just gonna say it straight, she** _ **will**_ **keep her name. Obviously; she's Isabelle! She will keep Lightwood, so I will be Lightwood. Simon Lightwood has a nice ring to it, though.**

 **Jace: Can** _ **not**_ **wait to play that back to Izzy.**

 **Will: Is she your adopted sister?**

 **Jace: No, I'm her adopted brother.**

 **Will: Your family is even more confusing than mine!**

 **Gabriel: ASK MY QUESTION, BEFORE MY LEG BREAKS!**

 **Jace: Yeesh, don't scream!**

 **Cecily: Gabriel, are you alright?**

 **Gabriel: I am fine, Cecy.**

 **Cecily: Why is Clarissa sitting on your lap? Is something going on here, Mr Lightwood?**

 **Gabriel: It was her forfeit. Designed to make her feel uncomfortable. Unfortunately, my leg seems to be heading in the numb direction.**

 **Cecily bends down to kiss Gabriel.**

 **Will scowls: Cecily, you are not supposed to be here.**

 **Cecily: I just wished to make sure that Gabriel was not dying. Surely you can understand that?**

 **Will: Understood. Now go.**

 **Cecily: Goodbye Gabriel.**

 **Gabriel: Goodbye, my Cecily.**

 **Audience cheers.**

 **Simon: Not even Jace and Clary can top how cute that is.**

 **Jace: I** _ **could**_ **show you the letter I wrote to Clary when I thought we were still brother and sister.**

 **Clary: That letter is totally private.**

 **Jace: Everyone knows about that cave now. What could be more private?**

 **Clary: That letter is the cutest and nicest thing anyone has ever written to me. You are not showing it.**

 **Gabriel: And now it is Gabriel's turn. His question is: Would you like to leave now? I say, yes I would thank you.**

 **Silence.**

 **Jace: He's resorted to talking about himself in the third person.**

 **Will: It will all go downhill for him from here on out.**

 **Jace: Gabriel, no more questions on Cecily. How did you feel when you were in the same room as Sophie and Gideon were kissing in?**

 **Gabriel: I felt most awkward. Granted, at the time I was meant to be sleeping, but I heard Sophie yell at him for placing scones underneath his bed, which was amusing. I felt awkward and felt as if I were intruding, but I also felt amused.**

 **Silence.**

 **Will: Well, what were we expecting to find? We really just ran out of questions to ask him.**

 **Jace: It's the end of this part of the show, and it looks like Gabriel is happy.**

 **Gabriel jumps up, knocking Clary off him: Finally! Sorry Clary.**

 **Clary: No, it's fine. It wasn't exactly like sitting on a sofa.**

 **Will: Say goodbye everybody.**

 **Clary: Bye! (Crowd cheers).**

 **Simon: Well, I'm off to watch Isabelle's one.**

 **Jace: What a great goodbye.**

 **Gabriel: Ugh, I am so uncomfortable (Rushes off).**

 **Will: We will see you all after the break with Tessa, Isabelle and Gideon.**

 **Jace: Bye!**


	11. Man I need better titles

**Sorry for not updating for a while. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter Eleven**

 **Jace: Welcome back to the Jace and Will show. For those of you who just tuned in, the last host, Izzle, foolishly decided to let me and Will be the hosts.**

 **Will: She was an idiot, was she not?**

 **Jace: Yep. We've just ruined Clary's, Simon's and Gabriel's day, so how about some more? Right now we've got…**

 **Tessa: Good morning. Or is it afternoon?**

 **Isabelle: Hey again! I've just realised I know neither of these people.**

 **Gideon: Hello. Did you just decide to make me and Gabriel be separated from our loved ones?**

 **Will: No. I just thought you would be a good conversationalist piece for this session. Besides, you know Tessa!**

 **Gideon: Yes, I know that I know Tessa, but I do not believe I know this charming young lady.**

 **Jace: Don't flirt with your relative!**

 **Gideon: She…is a Lightwood?**

 **Will: Yes she is. But I believe she is from Gabriel's side. You would be her great great great great uncle.**

 **Isabelle: He's my uncle?**

 **Gideon: She is my niece?**

 **Jace: Family reunion right here!**

 **Isabelle: Oh shut up, Jace.**

 **Will: Are you ready?**

 **Everyone: Yes.**

 **Will: First question is for Tessa.**

 **Tessa: Why can't Jace ask the questions?**

 **Will: Because that would not be fun. At all.**

 **Tessa: I do not care about fun, I care about keeping my dignity!**

 **Jace: She should've been here when we were interrogating Clary.**

 **Will: Tessa, how do you feel when I call you Tess? How do you feel when I talk to you in Welsh?**

 **Tessa: I think I will try that forfeit.**

 **Jace: FORFEIT!**

 **Isabelle: When did you become a 15 year old Jace?**

 **Jace: I seriously don't know what this show has done to me.**

 **Will: Tessa, your forfeit is to take off one item of your clothing.**

 **Tessa: But all I'm wearing is a dress with a chemise and a corset.**

 **Will: Even better.**

 **Isabelle: Ugh, I can't believe this is happening.**

 **Jem walks in: I do believe that this is very inappropriate and I must be in the room as I am engaged to marry her.**

 **Will: So am I!**

 **Tessa: Don't I get a choice?**

 **Jace: I don't think you do.**

 **Isabelle: Tessa, don't worry, you can get through this. You're lucky; Jace can come up with far worse than this. I have experienced it.**

 **Jace: Since when did you become some sort of prophetic downworlder? Since when do you hand out free advice?**

 **Isabelle: Since Clary and I became best friends. We share a bond over annoying you.**

 **Jace: She doesn't think I'm annoying. She thinks I'm awesome.**

 **Silence as Jace and Isabelle stare at each other while Gideon starts thinking of Sophie. Meanwhile, Tessa is in the corner, getting watched by Will and Jem.**

 **Tessa: I hate you sometimes Will. But I suppose I will have to take off….my hat!**

 **Will: But…surely you weren't even wearing a hat to begin with?**

 **Jem: All you said was take off an article of clothing. My work here is done.**

 **Jem leaves.**

 **Will yells at Jem: All you did was say you were engaged to her!**

 **Gideon: This is amusing.**

 **Isabelle: What, your imaginings about Sophie, or Will?**

 **Jace: You have been tricked Will. Well done Tessa!**

 **Tessa: Thank you Jonathan.**

 **Sebastian runs in: Someone call for me?**

 **Tessa: Not you. Him Jonathan.**

 **Sebastian: Oh.**

 **Jace: It's OK.**

 **Sebastian: I'll just leave then.**

 **Sebastian leaves dejectedly and everyone is silent.**

 **Jace: It's Izzy's turn!**

 **Isabelle: Yay.**

 **Will: Sarcasticness reigns today.**

 **Gideon: That was the worst quote I have ever encountered.**

 **Will: And you heard it here first. People will be saying that for years to come. I AM A TRENDSETTER!**

 **Tessa: Please continue Jace.**

 **Jace: Izzy's question is: How does it feel to be related to this guy?**

 **Gideon: I am not a 'guy'. I am a Lightwood. A very proud family name. And I am Spanish too. Well, not entirely but that's close enough.**

 **Isabelle: He's hot and Spanish? I am totally cool being related to him.**

 **Will: O-K, Lightwood's turn.**

 **Isabelle and Gideon: Yes?**

 **Will: I mean the prettier one.**

 **Isabelle and Gideon: Yes?**

 **Jace: He means Izzy.**

 **Gideon: Oh. You could have said that.**

 **Will: The only one who thinks you're pretty is Sophie.**

 **Gideon: That is very offensive. I feel hurt William.**

 **Will: The only one who calls me William is my mother.**

 **Isabelle: I guess this means that Gideon is your mother Will.**

 **Audience gasps.**

 **Will: Is this—is this true Gideon?**

 **Tessa: Oh, by the Angel.**

 **Gideon: I…um…I…**

 **Isabelle: I was joking Will. Can't anybody take a joke?**

 **Tessa: Our version of joking ends worse than yours.**

 **Isabelle: OK. Wait, I thought this was my question.**

 **Jace: You just had your question. Gideon, is your brother annoying, awful or miserable?**

 **Will: I like this question. I CHOOSE ALL THREE!**

 **Gideon: No one asked you.**

 **Tessa: Well done, Gideon, for defending your brother's honour.**

 **Isabelle snorts.**

 **Tessa: Is something amusing, Miss Lightwood?**

 **Isabelle: No, it's just that you guys sound like something out of Romeo and Juliet or something.**

 **Tessa: Is that a compliment or an insult?**

 **Jace: Let's not answer that question. Let's let Gideon answer his.**

 **Gideon: He is mildly annoying. He is better now that he has more friends around him and he has Cecily—**

 **Will: Do no speak of Lightworm and my sister together. It pains me. I would rather face a duck than think of them together.**

 **Jace: That is a really big sacrifice.**

 **Tessa: For the Herondales anyway.**

 **Will: Hey, you are a Herondale too!**

 **Jace: Is James Herondale, your son, scared of ducks too?**

 **Me: That would be so cool! I CANNOT WAIT FOR LADY OF MIDNIGHT AND THE LAST HOURS! OMG, I CAN GET JULIAN AND EMMA ON THE SHOW AND THEY CAN PROFESS THEIR LOVE FOR EACH OTHER!**

 **Jace: But they're parabatai.**

 **Me: They don't care! They will fall in love. They have to. They're so cute together! Come on, it's exactly like when you and Clary were brother and sister, but we all still shipped Clace. Would they be Jemma or Julema? Definitely Blackstairs or Carthorn. Ugh! So many names.**

 **Jace: That whole thing is like saying Alec and I are cute together.**

 **Me: Alec** _ **was**_ **in love with you…**

 **Jace: Whatever. Julian and Emma are only twelve.**

 **Me: But in that book it's five years later and apparently you and Clary are getting married and Alec and Magnus have a baby…**

 **Alec: WE WHAT!?**


	12. Unicorn Chapter

**Hey guys! I'm really glad about all the reviews you guys have given me and all the support. When I first wrote this, I did for a laugh and would never have dreamt of all the love. Things are going to get better and I have put into account the people who want Camille, Seelie Queen and Nate.**

 **I hope you guys will keep reading :)**

 **Also, I have to give credit to my best friend, Lula for listening to me going on and on about this story, and stuff like that, so THANK YOU!**

* * *

 **Chapter Twelve**

 **Me: Um…nothing. Let's leave, Alec.**

 **Alec and I leave.**

 **Will:** _ **OK.**_ **We've found out way more about us than we ever in our lives wanted to. Or at least me.**

 **Jace: Clary and I get married? Well, we all knew that anyway, no surprise there.**

 **Isabelle: How would Magnus and Alec have a baby? Do they adopt or does he do some kind of magic trickery? Or do they get someone else to have the baby for them? Magic probably.**

 **Gideon: Um, I answered the question, so can I leave now?**

 **Will: No. We must ask you all two questions. Otherwise Clarissa, Simon, and Lightworm will come after us. Not that I couldn't handle Lightworm (Tessa: Obviously). I got into a fight with him earlier and won, remember?**

 **Jace: We do. It was a dark time.**

 **Isabelle: Did you just quote yourself, Jace?**

 **Jace: Yeah. So what?**

 **Tessa: Just get on with my question, since it's obviously next.**

 **Will: When did you become so forward?**

 **Tessa: Since I left the 1800's and women got the vote.**

 **Will: You must be joking…that really happened?**

 **Gideon: What have we missed?**

 **Me: A lot apparently. Have you witnessed the discovery of the mobile phone? Facebook? Twitter? The holographic projector?**

 **Everyone apart from me and Tessa: What?**

 **Isabelle: You have a book that's also a face? I thought Simon was joking when he said that!**

 **Me: Why is everyone quoting themselves?**

 **Will: Can you just leave?**

 **Me: Fine.**

 **I leave.**

 **Will: Tessa's question!**

 **Tessa: Why can't Jace ask me?**

 **Jace: He won't let me. That's why.**

 **Will: Because I love you Tessa!**

 **Jem walks in again: OK, stop proclaiming your love to Tessa.**

 **Magnus appears: You could share her, you know.**

 **Silence.**

 **Jem: That is disgusting, warlock. I'm going to leave now.**

 **Jem and Magnus leave; Jem pulling Magnus by the robe.**

 **Jace: Will has decided to let me ask Tessa his question. His question is: Tessa, will you marry me? Again? And will you please choose between me and Jem before I go mad?**

 **Will: That…is not the question I wanted to ask Tessa. Did you look through my private letters, Jace?**

 **Jace: Maybe I did.**

 **Tessa: Oh Will, that is sweet. But Will, we are already married! And at this moment, since we are married, I choose you!**

 **Isabelle: But…I thought you were engaged to Jem?**

 **Tessa: Will is dead; appease him, Miss Lightwood.**

 **Will: I heard that! But I still love you Tessa. Always.**

 **Isabelle: That is so romantic. Then again, Simon and I are, like, the height of romance. Totally.**

 **Jace: No Lord Montgomery stuff, Izzy.**

 **Isabelle: How did you find out about that?!**

 **Jace: It's in Izzle's notes. What have you and the mundane been doing?**

 **Isabelle: I'm not going to answer that, and he's a Shadowhunter Jace!**

 **Jace: But he was a mundane a few weeks ago so I can still call him that until he's ascended.**

 **Me: I guess you haven't heard that he has ascended. In Tales from Shadowhunter Academy?**

 **Jace: Oh yeah. Forgot about that.**

 **Me: You're such an idiot, Jace. You were actually in parts of that!**

 **The silence becomes too much for me so I leave.**

 **Tessa: I really do wish that the whole of us were together right now. And Magnus. It would be funnier. Can you imagine if Nate were here?**

 **Gideon: Oh yes, he was definitely be the life of the party. And I could tease my brother. And see my soon to be wife.**

 **Will: You and Sophie are serious aren't you? Not that I am opposed to it—I find it quite sweet—but how is she with being a proper Shadowhunter now?**

 **Gideon: She's doing well. Why are you taking an interest, Will? It's strange.**

 **Will: I'm allowed to.**

 **Jace: He's just sulky because I asked his question. Don't worry about it; I have the exact same problem. I mean, it's exactly like when Will asked Clary my question and I went into full on sulk mode.**

 **Isabelle: Jace, you sound like a fifteen year old teenage girl. It's not good or attractive. Also, you Herondales are just naturally sulky people.**

 **Will: That is an insult. I like you Miss Lightwood; you're very much like me. Though you are related to Cecily. Wait, does this mean that Gideon and I are like Miss Lightwood's great great great uncles? And that Gabriel and Gideon are practically my brothers in law? Does this mean I am related to Jace, Isabelle, Alec, Gideon, Sophie, Gabriel, Cecily, Tessa, Clary and every other Herondale and Lightwood? AM I RELATED TO ROBERT AND MARYSE LIGHTWOOD? Bloody hell, I'd be related to Magnus too if he marries Alec! AM I?**

 **Silence.**

 **I walked in and look at them all: Yes. You. Are.**

 **Audience gasps.**

 **Will: THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING!**

 **Tessa: Actually, this changes nothing. We were all siblings in the Institute anyway. Well, almost all of us. I'm not saying any names.**

 **Will: And all because Cecy is marrying Lightworm. She has brought shame unto our family name. Quick Tessa, we can change our name and go into hiding. I can bribe Six Fingered Nigel into giving us a room, but that will only last a year. Then, we can sneak our way into New York and get Clary and Jace to give us a room.**

 **Tessa: Or…we can go to the Los Angeles Institute where the Carstairs are.**

 **Will:…Future Jems? NO WAY.**

 **Tessa: It was just an idea. I quite like Julian and Emma.**

 **Jace: Uh, shall we get onto Izzy's question?**

 **Isabelle: Yes we shall.**

 **Jace: Izzy, what was it like when Simon sucked your blood?**

 **Isabelle: FORFEIT!**

 **Will: Just what I delight in hearing.**

 **Jace: We'll be back after a quick ad break.**


	13. My name is Simon The angsty chapter

**Hey guys! Sorry I've been away so long! Hope you enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

 **Chapter Thirteen**

 **Will smiles at the audience: So before the ad break, we heard something that everybody here watching loves. Can you guess what this thing was?**

 **Audience: FORFEIT!**

 **Will: Correct! Isabelle Lightwood has made the bloody awful decision of trying a forfeit instead of lying for the question. Did I not mention that? Oops.**

 **Isabelle: Wait, I could've done that? Wait, I want to switch. I want to answer my question.**

 **Jace shakes his head: It's too late now Izzy. The deed is done.**

 **Tessa: Oh dear. Don't worry Isabelle. If I could do it, you can do it too.**

 **Isabelle:** _ **ALL YOU DID WAS TAKE OFF YOUR HAT!**_

 **Tessa: Still. It's the thought that counts, right?**

 **Jace: And for this dare only, we've borrowed Simon! Come on in Simon.**

 **Simon walks in and smiles at Izzy: Why am I here Jace? Not that I don't love you Izzy.**

 **Will: Yes, yes, keep your romantic confessions away from me please. Mr Lewis—**

 **Simon: I doubt anyone else has called me Mr Lewis. Maybe Lewis and Sir, but not Mr Lewis. I feel so intellectual!**

 **Isabelle: Shut up Simon.**

 **Jace: As my annoying relative was saying, Simon, you are here for Izzy's forfeit. Are you ready?**

 **Simon: Um, I guess, as long as this isn't something to do with Clary or Magnus, then I'm in.**

 **Jace: Magnus? Our Magnus?**

 **Simon: He's scary, man.**

 **Magnus: I feel very offended, Simeon.**

 **Simon: My name is Simon. Come on, you made me a Shadowhunter and I saved your life, like, once, so you should at least know my name. At the very least because I date Izzy.**

 **Magnus: I will try to remember you Shawn.**

 **Jace: Hey, Magnus, I think Alec needs to tell you the many different reasons why he isn't an alcoholic.**

 **Magnus: Oh we've had that conversation before. And let me tell you, I never want to repeat that conversation. Ever.**

 **Will: He's saying that you should leave now.**

 **Magnus: Oh. Well, since you asked nicely.**

 **Magnus exits and everyone is in silence.**

 **Me: Will, why do you keep kicking Magnus out? He's the best part of the show!**

 **Audience keeps quiet and I cave under the pressure and leave.**

 **Gideon: I have begun to believe that this forfeit is unlike any other we have had so far. So two.**

 **Tessa: Smart words, Mr Lightwood.**

 **Simon: Clary just had to sit on Gabriel's lap and Tessa had to take off her hat. This can't be too bad, right?**

 **Jace grins widely: Oh, but it can.**

 **Isabelle: Look at him! He's got some kind of crazed grin on his face. This is going to be the worst thing ever. It will be so bad.**

 **Magnus walks and leans in next to Simon: Even worse than all that fan fiction? (Magnus then leaves).**

 **Simon: What?**

 **Will looks at Simon: What are you talking about, Lewis?**

 **Simon: It would take too long to explain, Herondale.**

 **Jace: Izzy's forfeit is going to be a little different.**

 **Will smiles: Jace and I dare you to do something inappropriate to Simon in full view. Right here.**

 **Silence from Isabelle.**

 **Jace: Bet you're wishing you'd answered the question, right?**

 **Simon: I knew you guys didn't want me for conversation. I'm upset now.**

 **Jace shrugs: Oh dear. I'm** _ **so**_ **sorry.**

 **Tessa: I think we should have a contest to see which of the Herondale boys are more sarcastic.**

 **Gideon:** _ **That**_ **would be a great event.**

 **Will: I think that I would win that. Obviously, I would.**

 **Jace: I'm not entirely sure that that would happen.**

 **Will: Oh really?**

 **Jace: You want to go, let's go.**

 **Isabelle: It's official, Jace really has turned into a fifteen year old.**

 **Simon: That's just disturbing.**

 **Tessa: Will, you don't need to win contests to prove yourself!**

 **Will: But he's taunting me and I need to prove that I am the better Herondale!**

 **Isabelle: Isn't this my forfeit?**

 **Jace: Your forfeit has changed. You get to judge who is more sarcastic out of me and Will.**

 **Isabelle: Oh by the angel.**

 **Simon: And I was so ready for that forfeit too. It was probably going to be the most exciting moment of my life so far. Anyway, did either of you see Gideon walk out just now?**

 **Gideon hurries back in: What, that never happened.**

 **Tessa: Uh huh.**

 **Simon: How are things with you, Gid?**

 **Gideon: Gid?**

 **Simon: It's a nickname. And Gabriel is Gabe.**

 **Gideon:…Gabe?**

 **Tessa: You've broken him.**

 **Isabelle: Simon!**

 **Jace is looking at Will: Wow, I'm** _ **so**_ **sorry that I did that?**

 **Will: I hadn't noticed.**

 **Jace: Not at all.**

 **Will: Uh huh.**

 **Tessa: What?**

 **Isabelle: We missed something.**

 **Will: I find your jokes** _ **so**_ **funny. You know that?**

 **Jace: I know.** _ **My**_ **jokes are amazing. And, you know last week when you asked me if your hair looked good? Well, it didn't. It looked like a bird was nesting in it.**

 **Will: How rude!**

 **Gideon: This seems to have turned into an insult contest.**

 **Simon: Nice!**

 **Tessa: I don't believe it is supposed to be nice.**

 **Simon: It's a sarcastic saying.**

 **Isabelle: Well done Simon. I've decided who won.**

 **Will and Jace: Who? It was me! Obviously. Stop saying everything I say!**

 **Isabelle: Um, neither of you. Simon wins.**

 **Will and Jace: What?!**

 **Simon: I gladly accept my prize. What is it?**

 **Isabelle: You'll see later…**

 **Will: Ugh.**

 **Jace: I did not need to hear that.**

 **Isabelle: Well, I** _ **was**_ **the judge.**

 **Gideon: I think, it is my turn now?**

 **Jace: He is right. The last question of this round; Gideon!**

 **Will: I will ask this question, as you stole Tessa's.**

 **Tessa: Honestly Will.**

 **Jace: Fine. We'll play rock, paper, scissors to decide.**

 **Will: How about eeny meeny miney mo?**

 **Isabelle: Just no.**

 **Gideon: I don't even know what that is.**

 **Will: Well, I** _ **could**_ **explain the whole concept of that decision making game…**

 **Simon: Yes, the operative word being 'could'. Let's carry on.**

 **Jace: You're not even supposed to be here Lewis. Security! Take him out.**

 **Simon: Wow. Siccing security on your girlfriend's best friend. That'll earn you major boyfriend points.**

 **Jace: Fine. Can you** _ **please**_ **go out?**

 **Will: I can't believe you just said 'please'.**

 **Simon: Me neither. I'll leave because you asked nicely.**

 **Simon leaves to Isabelle's dismay: No! Simon, don't leave me with these crazy people!**

 **Simon: Sorry babe.**

 **Jace: I can't believe he just called you babe. He shouldn't do that.**

 **Gideon: So, is it my question yet?**

 **Tessa: They are stalling. No one takes that long to decide who asks a question.**

 **Isabelle: Actually, I can see Jace taking as long as possible so this show never ends.**

 **Jace: I'm pretty sure that I can still hear you, and I am a perfectionist, FYI.**

 **Isabelle: Simon's been rubbing off on you. I bet Clary can vouch for you on the perfectionist part.**

 **Jace: What?**

 **Tessa: This is becoming tiring. I would like to speak to Jem.**

 **Will: Jem? Why?**

 **Tessa:...Because you are being simply intolerable.**

 **Will looks at her for a minute:...Fine. Lightwood's question.**

 **Gideon: Thank you.**

 **Jace: I wouldn't thank him too much yet.**

 **Isabelle: Now you're cryptic too? What happened to the sarcastic guy that used to be my brother?**

 **Simon walks in: Now he's just somebody that you used to know…**

 **Simon walks out. Jace eyes Isabelle: Izzy,** _ **what**_ **did Simon just sing?**

 **Isabelle starts to reply when Simon walks back in to speak to her: Iz, my band has a gig on Friday and I'd appreciate it if you'd turn up.**

 **Will: Do you have something to say to all of us Mr Lewis?**

 **Simon: Actually yes. Jace; Clary told me to tell you that she doesn't think you'll make it as a chat show host. Jem would really appreciate it if Will didn't keep Tessa back too long as he has things to 'discuss' with her and Sophie really wants Gideon back.**

 **Simon leaves. Will is staring at Tessa and she is looking down: What do you mean he has things to discuss? What is going on here Tess?**

 **Tessa: Nothing Will.**

 **Isabelle: She said that too fast. She's lying.**

 **Will: I know she's lying; I have a rune for that! Did you really think that a Shadowhunter older than you wouldn't have a rune for this?**

 **Isabelle:…No need to be angry…**

 **Jace: What are you hiding, Theresa?**

 **Tessa: I suppose I must say. Will; please don't be angry with me but—**

 **Will: Don't tell me; you've decided that you are going to marry Jem instead of me. Well, good, I am happy with that. In fact, I am delighted by the fact. I am happy for you, Tessa.**

 **Tessa: Wait, Will—**

 **Will: No, don't say anything.**

 **Will gets up and goes to the door, everyone following him with their eyes. He stops at the door and looks back at her: Tess, just, just know that I always loved you. Ever since I found you at the Dark Sister's house, I loved you. I enjoyed every minute we had together; every walk, every picnic, every time we went to the bar and I got drunk. Just remember me, Tess, as the man who only loved you, and no one else. Jace, hold down the fort for me. I will be back. Soon. Maybe. I don't know.**

 **Will rushes out in a blur and, after a minute, Tessa follows him with a sigh. Everyone is silent yet again, looking down at their shoes.**

 **Gideon: So…my question now?**

* * *

 **SO MUCH ANGST!**


	14. The Plot twist

**Hey guys, sorry I haven't updated in a while. I got a new laptop and I'm still working it out. In the story, I have many things in store and I am really happy everyone's enjoying it. I'm going to put either Camille, Seelie Queen or Maureen in it but I'm still deciding. Raphael might make a guest appearance. Keep reading and hope you enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter Fourteen- The plot twist chapter**

 **Isabelle fans herself dramatically: That was** _ **the**_ **most dramatic thing I have ever seen. Excluding almost every moment of Clary and Jace I have ever seen. Because they are very dramatic.**

 **Jace: I, um, I guess I'll ask Gideon his question so we can wrap this whole thing up. Because otherwise this will all just get awkward, waiting for Will and all.**

 **Gideon: That is a very good idea. I agree with that plan very much.**

 **Isabelle is silent: It just seems really empty in here now without Will and Tessa, more normal. I mean, listen to that silence.**

 **Everyone listens and hears Will and Tessa talking in the silence.**

 **Will: Tess, what are you doing in here? Here to rub it in my face? Well, you don't have to say anything. Jem is a very lucky man to have your love and I give you my blessing. Happy now? Just…leave me alone. You know I'm going to mope for the next year.**

 **Tessa: OH BY THE ANGEL WILL! I AM NOT LEAVING YOU FOR JEM! (At least not at this very minute in time.)**

 **Will: Then…what are you going to discuss with him?**

 **Tessa: We were going to discuss your surprise birthday party! And now you know about it because of how childish you are! Really, Will!**

 **Will: You still love me though. Don't you Tess?**

 **Tessa: Oh Will.**

 **Will: Tess.**

 **Everyone hears Will and Tessa kissing through the thin walls.**

 **Jace looks at the ceiling: Right. Well, glad they've settled that thing.**

 **Will and Tessa walk in, happy and rumpled, lipstick marks on Will's face. Isabelle smirks: Had a nice talk there?**

 **Will: Very.**

 **Tessa: Completely.**

 **Gideon: Right then.**

 **Will: Lightwood's question!**

 **Gideon: Finally!**

 **Jace: So, Gideon, we would really like you to sing—**

 **Will who has recovered from his angst, lightens up: THE DEMON POX SONG!**

 **Tessa rolls her eyes: Will, I cannot believe you. Is that what you think about every moment of the day?**

 **Isabelle: I am sooooo confused right now.**

 **Gideon: Really, Will?**

 **Jace: I'd just like to point out now before anyone gets angry, that I was going to get him to sing** _ **Anaconda**_ **, but I suppose that this works. I would also now like to say that I don't listen to that music, Simon does. It's Simon's fault.**

 **Gideon: I don't even know how that song goes.**

 **Will: I have sung it enough times to you Gideon. Come on everybody!**

 **Tessa: No.**

 **Jace: Um, nope.**

 **Isabelle: This is Gideon's pain to get through. Hey, this isn't even a question!**

 **Will: You're right, it's a dare!**

 **Isabelle: Right. Why are you guys so childish?**

 **Will: Repeat that.**

 **Jace: And you die.**

 **Will: And you saw I am not entirely that childish. I just had a deep, meaningful, angsty, profound moment with Tessa.**

 **Gideon: The only moments when you are not childish were before you realised the curse was false, when you are with Tessa, when you are with Jem and when you are killing demons. And not even then, because you taunt them.**

 **Will:…It is very hard not to taunt a demon.**

 **Jace: I actually have to agree with that.**

 **Isabelle: That is true.**

 **Will: So, demon pox song then?**

 **Gideon: I shall sing it, and get it over with.**

 **Tessa: Good luck Mr Lightwood. I promise I shall not tell Gabriel. But I might tell Sophie.**

 **Gideon: Oh by the angel.**

 **Will: I forgot to mention that I hired a salsa band that you must sing it with.**

 **Salsa band walks in, settles in the back and Jace gasps: When did you do that?** _ **When**_ **did you get a salsa band?** _ **How**_ **did you get a salsa band in here?**

 **Will: I got it just now. I thought it would be plain to have Gideon sing it without anything else. And, really, who doesn't like a salsa band?**

 **Jace: Good point.**

 **Gideon tries to stall: I…I do not know the words…**

 **Magnus appears in salsa gear: Good thing I printed out the lyrics two hundred years ago. I always knew it would be important someday.**

 **Magnus hands out lyrics and then stands at the back next to the salsa band.**

 **Jace: Hey, Magnus, why are you back there? Don't you want to sing it with us?**

 **Magnus: I figured I would conduct the mariachi band.**

 **Jace: Salsa.**

 **Magnus: What?**

 **Jace: It's a salsa band.**

 **Magnus: Even better.**

 **Will: OK, Gideon, three, two, one—**

 **Salsa band starts playing and Gideon stands up.**

 **Gideon: "Demon pox, oh demon pox  
Just how is it acquired?"**

 **Band keeps on playing but Gideon stops.**

 **Will: Come on, it's my all time favourite song!**

 **Tessa: You need a new favourite song. Right now.**

 **Gideon: "One must go down to the bad part of town**

 **Until one is very tired."**

 **Tessa: What does that even mean?**

 **Will: Hush!**

 **Gideon: "Demon pox, oh demon pox, I had it all along—  
Not the pox, you foolish blocks,"**

 **Magnus starts doing the limbo in the background.**

 **Gideon: "I mean this very song—  
For I was right, and you were wrong!"**

 **Silence.**

 **Isabelle: Oh Gideon, I am so sorry!**

 **Gideon: That was—**

 **Will: Great! You could've been a tiny bit more enthusiastic, but nothing a little practice won't solve.**

 **Jace looks at Magnus, who is doing the limbo: Um, Magnus? You can stop dancing now.**

 **Magnus: What, you don't like my dancing?**

 **Jace: We love your dancing, but—**

 **Will: It's the end of the show and we need to get other people on. Sorry.**

 **Magnus: Right. So, basically, you want to get rid of me.**

 **Jace: Pretty much. But you might be in the next round. And everyone wants to be in the next round, I mean we've got Cecily, Maia and a surprise guest, which could be you!**

 **Magnus sits back on his chair which appeared: I made this show little Shadowhunters. I can stay in here as long as I want. In fact—you two are fired.**

 **Will and Jace: Say what?**

 **Magnus: I am taking over your job, darlings. You're over, fired, sacked, arrivederci, gone, vamoose. Whatever you feel like at this moment in time.**

 **Jace: You…you can't do that Magnus.**

 **Magnus: Oh I can. Goodbye Will. Jace. It was fun, but the people like me more than you. And I'm not afraid to say it.**

 **Magnus throws everyone out apart from him.**

 **Magnus: So, in the next part of this show, which I am now hosting, we are going to do things a little differently…Until then!**

* * *

 **So, Magnus is taking over the show? How do you guys feel about this? review!**


	15. The Magnus Bane chapter

**Hey guys! Chapter 15 is here and I'm really glad that you guys are still reading.**

 **Only two days till school again :(**

 **Hope you like all the Magnus stuff!**

* * *

 **Chapter Fifteen- The Magnus Bane chapter**

 **Magnus is sitting on a red throne with Church on his lap. He is making the camera look at him and nothing else in the room: Welcome to** _ **Magnus Bane and Me**_ **, the new chat show with me, the magnificent Magnus Bane, high warlock of Brooklyn. In case any of you are a bit confused (where have you been living), Will Herondale and Jace Herondale were…relieved of their duties, because, they were simply not doing a good enough job. They were in the middle of questioning everybody but I thought to myself, who** _ **really**_ **wants to do just that? I mean, really?**

 **Magnus: So, on that positive note, please welcome Mr Alec Lightwood, my absolutely gorgeous assistant, who is going to be...assisting me!**

 **Alec walks in, looking nervous and a bit confused: Um, hey everybody. Magnus, what the hell am I doing here?**

 **Magnus: Why, you are the most important part of the show! No need to be rude.**

 **Alec looks up: And…why is Sebastian in that cage over there?**

 **Everyone looks at Sebastian, who is trapped in a cage. He sighs: I knew you guys didn't like me, but is it really necessary to lock me in a cage? Seriously?**

 **Magnus: Yes it most definitely is. I will explain the…game, as soon as everyone is here.**

 **Alec: Everyone?**

 **Magnus: Well, not everyone. I'm bringing back Jessamine, Jordan and Sophie for this round. I can guarantee that it will be interesting. I hope.**

 **Alec: Jessamine…seriously? You could've picked someone a bit more interesting than her. Like a brick. Or a seraph blade. Seraph blades are more interesting than her.**

 **Magnus: She's a ghost. Can't get more interesting than that I suppose. Maybe a zombie. But, good point.**

 **Sebastian: You're making me talk to the guy I killed? He hates me!**

 **Magnus:** _ **Wow**_ **, I wonder why…**

 **Alec: And no one is making you talk. You don't have to talk at all Morgenstern. In fact, it would be nicer for everyone if you didn't speak.**

 **Magnus: So, without any further ado, let's start.**

 **Jessamine, Jordan and Sophie walk in.**

 **Jessamine is about to start talking when Magnus interrupts: No need to say 'hi' because we've heard you say that twice already. And we don't like you so yeah…**

 **Jessamine huffs: You haven't changed a bit. You always were rude, weren't you Magnus?**

 **Magnus: That I was Jessamine.**

 **Alec looks at them: You didn't have a secret relationship with her too, did you?**

 **Jordan: Secret relationships? Sounds like a fun time.**

 **Alec rolls his eyes: Werewolves.**

 **Jordan: What's that supposed to mean?**

 **Sophie: Don't. Let's not fight, please!**

 **Jessamine: Why should we even begin to listen to you, servant girl?**

 **Gideon bursts through the doors suddenly and walks up to Jessamine with his knife: Take that back, Jessamine. Don't say those things.**

 **Sebastian whoops from his cage: FIGHT!**

 **Magnus flicks Gideon out of the room: Everyone calm down! If you don't all behave, I'll be forced to make you eat Isabelle's cooking. Her speciality: spaghetti and lasagne.**

 **Silence while Alec remembers the last time Isabelle made spaghetti and lasagne, where he left Simon with her and he almost died.**

 **Jordan gulps: You…you wouldn't.**

 **Sebastian: That is a bit harsh, don't you think?**

 **Alec looks at Magnus shakily: Magnus?**

 **Magnus: I would and I can.**

 **Alec: Wow, are-are you OK?**

 **Magnus: I'm great actually! Just excited. It's not everyday I take over a chat show and hang people over crocodile pits. Oops, did I say that out loud?**

 **Alec: What have you been doing, Magnus?**

 **Sebastian: So, do I get a drink or—**

 **Magnus: Maybe later, if you're nice.**

 **Jordan: I just noticed that you're not wearing anything…weird.**

 **Magnus looks at his black suit: What does that mean?**

 **Jordan: Um—nothing. You look really nice.**

 **Magnus: That's what I thought. So, the aim of this is: When you answer a question and I don't like your answer, Sebastian here is dropped a little bit closer in his cage, to the crocodiles that are waiting below. If I like your answer, he is dropped a little closer to the corner filled with bunnies.**

 **Sebastian holds up a hand: Um, I'm allergic to fur.**

 **Magnus: That's a shame then. So do you have any questions?**

 **Jordan: Yes actually, I do. What counts as a good—?**

 **Magnus: No questions? Good.**

 **Alec: Um, actually Jordan was just about to ask something—**

 **Jordan: Yeah. What counts as a good answer?**

 **Magnus: That depends.**

 **Sebastian: On what?**

 **Magnus: On what mood I'm in.**

 **Jessamine looks up from her nails: I really do not care, so can we please hurry this up? I have places to get to.**

 **Sebastian: Nice to know you care…**

 **Jessamine: I do not know you, so I do not have to care about you. Logic.**

 **Magnus: Nice logic. Well then, let's begin. Alexander will ask the questions.**

 **Alec: I will? OK then. No choice for me…**

 **Magnus: If you refuse to answer a question, Sebastian will automatically be dropped to the crocodiles. With a push of a lever.**

 **Sebastian looks up: WHAT?**

 **Magnus: So you are basically playing for his whole existence. No pressure. Or anything. But then again, you can't have a good TV show without pressure. And drama. Drama is good.**

 **Alec: Oh Magnus, why are you doing this?**

 **Magnus: Because it's fun! And because I'm being forced.**

 **Jordan: I don't want this guy to die because of me; I'd feel bad. Even though I died because of him. Hmm, maybe this isn't that bad after all. I'll go along with it. Soz, Seb.**

 **I walk in and Magnus immediately looks at me: Hi guys. Magnus, isn't this, like, totally illegal? Don't you need the person's consent to do this stuff?**

 **Magnus: What? I need the person's consent to kill him? Do you want me to ask whether Sebastian wants to be killed? A stupid idea. Maybe it is illegal sweet pea but lots of things I do are illegal. Like my time in Peru with Ragnor Fell…**

 **Me: OK, we don't need to know about that. But, c'mon, Sebastian may be a bad guy, but, deep down, he wouldn't hurt a fly and…is it really entertainment to kill him?**

 **Silence as everyone looks at Magnus.**

 **Alec: I think we should listen to Izzle right now.**

 **Everyone agrees apart from Jessamine and Magnus. Jessamine instead decides to start knitting a polka dot scarf.**

 **Sebastian: I agree with that thought.**

 **Magnus: And I have a thought that I can turn any of you, apart from Alec, into a demon or rabid bunny and can banish you from existence.**

 **Me: OK then. I'm just gonna go then. I don't want to get turned into a rabid bunny. Wow, I never thought I'd say that.**

 **I leave. Magnus looks after me, shaking his head: How can she even afford us?**

 **Jordan speaks into the silence: What** _ **did**_ **happen in Peru?**

 **Magnus: That is a story for an ad break in the future. So, Alec, I have handed you a list of questions for each person. If one of them fails to give me a good answer, the question goes to the next person and so on. The game ends when Sebastian has either been dropped to the crocodiles and the bunny. Got it?**

 **Alec: Yeah, I get it. No point in arguing is there?**

 **Magnus: None whatsoever! Let's begin. Oh, and I might change the rules halfway.**

 **Alec: OK, so are you guys ready?**

 **Jordan: Yep!**

 **Sophie: I suppose.**

 **Jessamine: What are we doing again?**

 **Sebastian: You really** _ **don't**_ **care, do you?**

 **Jessamine: No. Why on earth are you hanging above crocodiles?**

 **Me: Let's have an ad break while we explain the whole concept of the show to Jessamine. Come back soon!**


	16. So, Sebastian's gonna die

**Hey guys! It's back to school and I am not happy. A lot of things are happening now, and I want you to review to tell me how you think it's going or if I should add anything. Anyway, hope you enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter Sixteen- The 'Sebastian's gonna die' chapter**

 **Alec huffs: We're not explaining it again, Jessamine. So, on this list Magnus just gave me, it seems that the first question is for a Mr Kyle…**

 **Jordan: Mr Kyle? Nice!**

 **Alec: Just know that I am never calling you that again, partly because you're dead, but mostly because I will never call you that again. So, and these are not my own words by the way, this question will test how intelligent you are and all that rubbish.**

 **Jordan: Wait, intelligence? What kinds of questions are these? I thought this stuff was like stuff before; stuff that would humiliate you, not intelligence!**

 **Magnus: I don't have to tell you anything.**

 **Alec: If a plane flies as fast as it can in a half hour with a tank half full of fuel, how long 'till it runs out?**

 **Silence fills the room.**

 **Alec: And you have one minute to think up an answer. Just thought I'd mention that.**

 **Magnus: You have to give the correct answer or near correct to avoid the** _ **catastrophe**_ **of Sebastian here getting fed to the crocodiles.**

 **Sebastian swings in his cage: I am doomed. Doomed to die because a werewolf couldn't solve a maths problem. Why don't I get an honourable death?**

 **Jessamine: Apparently, evil people don't get honourable deaths. Lucky they didn't ask that question to me, otherwise you really would be dead by now.**

 **Sebastian: Nice to know you're thinking of my well being.**

 **Jordan: I'm a werewolf, not a mathematician!**

 **Alec: I'm not the one who thought up the questions. And that is a great catchphrase. I can see it now, everyone will be saying 'I'm a werewolf, not a mathematician!' We can make millions...**

 **Magnus: OK...I would give you some paper, but I am simply too tired to give you any. I guess you'll have to do it in your head. Heh.**

 **Sophie: It's almost as if Mr Bane** _ **wants**_ **Sebastian to be dropped to the crocodiles.**

 **Sebastian: Oh, like no one else realised that.**

 **Sophie: No need for sarcasm. You are the one about to be eaten, not me.**

 **Magnus: Or have a bad allergic reaction. That would also be humiliating and hilarious.**

 **Jordan: Can you guys shut up! I am trying to solve this problem and you're talking about things that don't matter right now.**

 **Alec: Agreed. 30 seconds left. I feel like the host from Countdown.**

 **Magnus: You watch Countdown? I didn't know you watched stuff like that!**

 **Alec: I watch a lot of things when you're off on warlock business.**

 **Jordan: Carry the 4, add the 12…**

 **Sophie: I never thought I would see the day when a downworlder did something other than fight or eat.**

 **Sebastian: Neither did I.**

 **Magnus: I'm going to ignore the fact that I am a downworlder.**

 **Sophie: Oh.**

 **Alec: Time's up. What's your answer? First answer is final answer.**

 **Jordan: Well, first I thought it was 5. Then, I thought that it was a trick question. And now I'm pretty sure that it would land in Rio. Are any of those right?**

 **Sebastian: I knew it. I** _ **am**_ **doomed.**

 **Alec: Yes, well, I'm not exactly sure what this says; I can't read the writing-**

 **Magnus: I made the question up! And we used your first answer so you are wrong!**

 **Jordan: Oh. Well, hopefully next time then!**

 **Sebastian: I can't believe you people!**

 **Magnus walks up to a lever and pulls it:** **#Sorrynotsorry!**

 **Sebastian's cage lowers to the pit of crocodiles below: I don't even have any weapons to defend myself from these beasts. And what did you just say?**

 **Magnus: That's kind of the point. Oh, I might as well explain the concept of a hashtag before you die. Very important, gripping stuff here.**

 **Alec speaks before Magnus begins explaining to Sebastian: The maid's turn now. Magnus's words, not mine.**

 **Sophie: Maid? I'm a Shadowhunter, Mr Bane!**

 **Magnus: Are you? I missed that. No matter; no one really cares.**

 **Alec: This question will, uh, test your fashion sense. Which is obviously incredibly important to our survival. This is Sophie's question by the way, named here as Miss Collins.**

 **Sebastian: I might die because of fashion sense? I hate you Magnus.**

 **Magnus: What? Style is important to me. It is a life or death situation.**

 **Jessamine: I cannot believe you are asking her about fashion. She was a common parlour maid before she became a Shadowhunter. And Shadowhunters don't do much better, in my opinion.**

 **Sebastian: You really think that?**

 **Jessamine: Of course!**

 **Sebastian: Because, my view of Shadowhunters isn't much better.**

 **Jessamine actually looks up at Sebastian: You feel the same way?**

 **Alec looks at the both of them: Oh by the angel, please tell me you two aren't falling in love!**

 **Magnus: How cute, the pair of them would be disturbing, disgusting, evil and boring.**

 **Sophie: How romantic!**

 **Jordan: I still want him fed to the crocodiles.**

 **Magnus: Don't we all?**

 **Jessamine: So, Lillith took over your mind and Valentine made you evil? And Clarissa stabbed Jace so you died! You poor thing! I can't believe all that happened to you, Sebastian!**

 **Sebastian: You learn to live with it. I mean I had demon blood in me for seventeen years so…**

 **Magnus: They're best friends now. Wait, wasn't he with the Seelie Queen?**

 **Alec: Sophie, would you wear a black and white striped top with plaid trousers outside a store?**

 **Jordan: What does that even mean?**

 **Alec: Jordan, I have no idea.**

 **Magnus: I really have to take you shopping some time-**

 **Alec: No. All the personnel want your phone number and you always ask for the manager. Remember the fridge incident?**

 **Magnus: Ah yes. You didn't have to get so angry with the manager though. I was flattered that he wanted my number, if I'm honest. I really thought you were going to tear my arm off, how fast you ran out of that shop. Speaking of it, we really need to get a fridge.**

 **Alec: Right. Sophie, just give me your answer so we can get on with this.**

 **Sophie: I don't know? Yes?**

 **Jessamine: That is just wrong.**

 **Sebastian: What?**

 **Jessamine: She would wear stripes with plaid!**

 **Magnus: My liking for you went down a lot.**

 **Jordan: It's just clothes, guys.**

 **Magnus and Jessamine:** _ **Just clothes?**_

 **Sebastian: So, I'm guessing that this doesn't mean I'm about to be dropped into fluffy bunnies.**

 **Magnus walks closer to the lever for the crocodiles: Yep. The Last Hours (see what I did there) of your life will be spent here going by very quickly. One more wrong answer and you're a goner, I'm terribly sad to say.**

 **Sebastian drops closer to the crocodiles and Jessamine finally sees what's going on and drops her knitting: What? You cannot do this to him! He cannot die by the hand of a television show!**

 **Magnus: Why ever not?**

 **Alec: Magnus, she has a good point.**

 **Magnus: What? You're agreeing with Jessamine and not me? That's low.**

 **Alec: No. All I'm saying is that if you want him to die there are easier ways to do it, considering you're a warlock it will be easier for you, but you don't have to drop him to a pit of crocodiles-**

 **Jordan: Um, guys, Sebastian is already dead. You'd be killing him again. There is no point in dropping him to crocodiles. It would do nothing. He'd float around in there and that would be uncomfortable.**

 **Magnus: I forgot about that.**

 **Jessamine: You are dead too?**

 **Sebastian: You're a ghost?**

 **Alec: Good going Jordan, you've given them more reasons to be sappy with each other.**

 **Magnus: Well never mind. No one's going to miss him, really.**

 **Sebastian: I disagree with that.**

 **Alec: Alright. Miss Lovelace's question is last.**

 **Jessamine: I shall try to not get you killed.**

 **Sophie: Are you trying to get the man to fall in love with you, Jessie?**

 **Jessamine: Absolutely not.**

 **Magnus: Can we please get on with this?**

 **Sophie: Excuse me, Mr Bane, this is a very serious conversation we are having here.**

 **Jordan: No it's not. It is probably one of the most boring conversations I have ever listened to.**

 **Sophie: I was** _ **not**_ **talking to you, dead downworlder.**

 **Alec: Jessamine's question is to test her knowledge on Shadowhunter runes. Huh, this will be easy then. You went easy on her, Magnus!**

 **Sophie puts her hand on her forehead: Oh dear.**

 **Sebastian looks at her, confused: What? She's a shadowhunter!**

 **Magnus: I am slightly sorry for you Sebastian. Not!**

 **Jessamine: Ask me the question.**

 **Alec: Where do Shadowhunter wedding runes go?**

 **Jessamine: Oh dear.**

 **Sebastian: Oh this is the easiest question in the world!**

 **Magnus: Oh is it?**

 **Jordan: I have no idea.**

 **Alec: That's why we didn't ask you. Do you have an answer yet Jessamine?**

 **Jessamine: I am thinking.**

 **Sebastian: Oh right—oh no, Magnus, you made sure she wouldn't know didn't you?**

 **Magnus: Perhaps.**

 **Sophie: Jessie, I am married, if you just look at me, you will see-**

 **Jessamine: I am thinking. Do not interrupt.**

 **Alec: Ten seconds.**

 **Jessamine: Are there two?**

 **Sebastian: YES.**

 **Alec: But where are they?**

 **Jessamine: Are they...one on the hand and the other on the arm?**

 **Magnus: Oops, I'm sorry, you're wrong. Better luck next time!**

 **Sebastian: How are you a shadowhunter?**

 **Jessamine: I despise them. I never learnt anything from them. I am quite sorry though.**

 **Sebastian:** _ **Quite?**_

 **Magnus: Feel the rejection!**

 **Jordan: Oh well.**

 **Sophie: It was a fun game though.**

 **Magnus strolls over to the lever: Any last words, Sebastian? Anything you want to confess before you're torn apart?**

 **Sebastian: Actually yes-**

 **The door blows open and in walks a figure that remains to be seen: Magnus. Stop this nonsense!**

 **Magnus: You! What are you doing here?**

 **Sophie: What?! I thought you were dead! You have really let yourself go, haven't you?**

 **Alec: Oh not you.**

 **Jordan: Yeah, I don't know you. I'm sure you're very nice.**

 **Unknown person: Put the boy down, Magnus. We have things to discuss…**

 **Magnus stares at the person for a few seconds:...We are going to have a very long ad break now. Join us after the break. Thank you for watching.**

* * *

 **So, who do you think the person is? Seriously, I'm not sure and everything here is me winging it. REVIEW!**


	17. Psych!

**PSYCH!**

 **Hey guys!**

 **Wanted to know whether you guys wanted to see what happens with Magnus, Alec and the fridge and if you wanted to know what happened with Isabelle, Simon and the spaghetti? Tell me!**

 **Also, thanks for those who told me who the mysterious stranger is. Camille Belcourt is strong and also Ragnor Fell. Please review and tell me what else you'd like to see.**

 **So, tell me if you want to see those stories and review to tell me who the stranger is.**

 **Thanks guys,**

 **Izzle**

 **LOVE YOU GUYS!**


	18. What you doing here?

**Here it is guys, everything you've been waiting for! Sorry it took so long, but I explain it in the story. Hope you like, :)**

* * *

 **Chapter Eighteen- The 'WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE' chapter**

 **Magnus, dressed in a black suit that was uncomfortable and an ugly shade, stepped outside the camera's view and so did Alec, wearing a hoodie. As always. Magnus wondered to himself how he had ended up here, on another person's chat show of all things, hanging Sebastian off a cage to a pit of crocodiles and bunnies. Things weren't going too well for him right then. Alec seemed to realise his distress and put a hand on his shoulder, comforting him immensely.**

 **Alec: Magnus, why are you thinking in paragraph format? It's different and it's making me feel insecure.**

 **Magnus: Sorry Alec. I just don't know why they let that person in here. Didn't I say on my contract to never come into contact with that person?**

 **Alec: Well, you know Izzle, she'll do anything for the fans. She just made Will and Tessa have a fight! They never fight, ever, at least as long as I've known them, which is a day. She made Sebastian and Jessamine have some kind of weird romance and now that person is here.**

 **I walk over to them: Um, guys, aren't you going to let Sebastian out of the cage? He can't stay over there, he's going to starve. You do realise this is just for show, right? If we actually killed Sebastian, I'm not sure it would be good. Technically, he's already dead, and the views we're getting love this whole thing, but, you know. We're all good people here.**

 **Magnus: I'm going to ignore that last statement there. Is that seriously Sebastian? He's dead. And he seems happy talking to Jessamine at the moment. Look, we have bigger problems-**

 **Me: OK, first: I am writing this story so I can bring anyone back from the dead. And I am forcing Jessamine to talk to him, otherwise she'll walk out. And, yeah we have bigger problems, I'M GETTING WRITERS BLOCK!**

 **Magnus: Look, no one cares about that. What is that person here? Didn't you look at my contract? Does no one look at contracts anymore? What has the world come to Alexander?**

 **Me: You didn't have a contract. None of you did.**

 **Magnus: Oh.**

 **There is silence in the producing studio.**

 **Me: Well, there's nothing I can do about it. And I'd hardly call it a normal person. More like a...weird...thing...wow, that sounded bad. Just deal with it. Tell me if I can film it. OK, bye.**

 **I walk away, leaving Magnus and Alec standing alone. Magnus looks at Sebastian: I should probably let him go.**

 **Alec: Yep.**

 **Magnus: ….OK, let's go see what that person wants.**

 **Magnus walks away from Sebastian as he tries to get out of the cage. Alec looks at Magnus: What about...nevermind. Sorry Sebastian. It's not like you need any food, right?**

 **Sebastian shouts at Alec from his cage: You guys are so mean. Can you get me Clary? I swear she's the only one who understands me. And keep Jace away before he kills me.**

 **Alec runs after Magnus, who has gone to his dressing room and is looking at a note on the door: What's that, Magnus? Is that a note from that person?**

 **Magnus: Yes. The person has asked me to meet me at dawn by the cemetery. Well, that doesn't sound ominous at all.**

 **Alec: Are you going to go?**

 **Magnus looks outside the window and gazes at the sunset: Yes, I suppose I must go. It's not like I have anything else to do right now.**

 **Alec: Yeah. Do you want me to go along with you? You might need back up.**

 **Magnus: Yes, thank you Alec. I might need some moral support. Ooh, what's that over there?**

 **Alec turns around to see Jace: Hey, Jace. Need anything?**

 **Jace looks surprised: Um, no. I'm watching out for Will. He's carrying around a huge seraph blade with ducks on it.**

 **Alec: Doesn't he hate ducks even more than you?**

 **Jace: No one hates ducks more than me. Oh, and Magnus left you.**

 **Alec looks at where Magnus was five seconds ago: Huh. Where did he go?**

 **Alec looks at where Jace was two seconds ago: Huh. Where did _he_ go?**

 **Alec runs to the cemetery because the conversation with Jace lasted longer than he thought. Magnus is standing alone with a black coat on and a cane: Hey, Magnus, you left me!**

 **Magnus looks at Alec: Sorry Alexander. You seemed busy. Anyway, you're just in time. It's nearly dawn.**

 **The mysterious stranger walks in with the cloak on and looks at Magnus: I told you to come alone.**

 **Magnus: Yes, well, I don't have to listen to you. Alec is my faithful companion and will never leave my side.**

 **Magnus looks at Alec and realises he's left: Well...he's gone.**

 **Mysterious stranger: Well, now I have business to discuss with you.**

 **Magnus: Are you going to take that dress off?**

 **Mysterious stranger: It is a robe. Not a dress.**

 **Magnus:...It looks like a dress.**

 **MS (because I can't be bothered to write mysterious stranger while I'm keeping you in suspense): It is a robe.**

 **Magnus: Dress.**

 **MS: Robe.**

 **Magnus leans on his cane: It's a dress.**

 **MS: You always were immature, weren't you Bane?**

 **Magnus: I don't see myself answering that question. Dress.**

 **MS: It is a robe, alright!**

 **Magnus: You don't look good in it. Black isn't your colour, really. Green is a good colour for you.**

 **MS: Magnus, I don't really see how green is a good colour for me. I think red is more my style.**

 **Magnus: I don't see how you can find a way to make the word red go in every conversation with me.**

 **MS: I like red.**

 **Magnus: Yeah, I know you do.**

 **MS: How is your...romance with Lightwood going? Have you broken up yet?**

 **Magnus: No, actually. And can you please take the hood of your dress off? It's getting disturbing and the reader wants to know who you are. The suspense is actually killing them.**

 **Me: WHOA WHOA WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.**

 **I start walking around with my hands in the air, pointing my finger at Magnus, who is still leaning on his cane, acting casual: Whoa. OK, whoa. W-**

 **MS: Is that the only thing you can say?**

 **Me: I don't need to talk to you. Magnus, what are you doing?**

 **Magnus: Being me, darling.**

 **Me: You can't talk through the fourth wall OK? That's completely against everything I do here. You do not talk to the people, OK? They are not here. You don't do that! Please tell me you haven't done it before?**

 **Magnus: I dabble.**

 **Me: Just don't do it again?**

 **Magnus: Hand on my heart.**

 **Me: OK. But I'm watching you.**

 **I exit with my video camera to a nearby tree.**

 **Magnus turns back to MS, who had completely disappeared, leaving a note on the floor: Well, that was rude.**

 **Magnus picks up the note and reads it. Now in italics for your pleasure!**

 _ **Magnus, three things...**_

 **Magnus looks at me: Izzle, he says that the viewers hate you!**

 **Me: Well, that's rude.**

 **Magnus: Izzle, he says that I shouldn't have called him a he because now the viewers know that he's a guy!**

 **Me: Ugh, Magnus, you're giving it all away...**

 **Magnus: Izzle, he says now is a good time for a conveniently placed time to go back to work.**

 **Me: But I'm not doing anything! It's your chat show!**

 **Magnus: Oh. Guess I'm going then. Now, where'd Alec go?**

 **Alec is standing behind a tree, watching them all: Valentine D-**

* * *

 **Ha ha?**

 **.**


	19. Author's Note

**So hey guys.**

 **SORRY THIS IS NOT AN UPDATE!**

 **I'd just like to say that I am so sorry I haven't updated but I will and I have already got a few ideas for a sequel to this, Magnus helped me a bit.**

 **I promise I will tell you who the MS is and I hope you will continue giving me the support I need.**

 **In other news,**

 **THE DARK ARTIFICES IS COMING, HALLOWEEN IS COMING, MY BIRTHDAY IS COMING, CHRISTMAS IS COMING AND AUSTRALIA AND NEW ZEALAND ARE THROUGH TO THE SEMIFINALS!**

 **Rant over.**

 **So please keep reading, guys!**


	20. What you say?

**So, half term is over and I AM BACK! Guess what guys:**

Computer: You have over 50 reviews

Me: Seriously?

Computer: yep.

Me: You're kidding.

Computer: Nope.

Me: I hate you!

Computer: What?

Me: I can't believe this!

Computer: I am never giving you good news again.

 **Anyway, THANKS FOR ALL THE SUPPORT.**

 **In answer to someone's question: THERE IS NO SEQUEL YET! What, don't you love this one enough? Anyway, I think this is the second to last chapter. Hope you enjoy this one and so sorry for not updating in a while: I was having a life.**

 **Izzle :)**

* * *

 **Chapter Nineteen—The 'What you say?' chapter**

 **Magnus is sitting in the chair he usually sits in: Hello, and welcome back to the Magnus Bane And Me show, with me, Magnus Bane. First, I would like to apologise to all my fans for taking such a long ad break. Second, I would like to blame anyone but me about who stormed in here. Third, I'd like to say that we're going to try to do just as hard here as we used to. Thank you.**

 **Magnus: There's good news and bad news. The bad news is is that Sebastian didn't die last time. The good news is, he's still in the cage, because no one had the energy to get him down. The other good news is that, hey, we got another cage! YAY!**

 **Sebastian: This is getting old Magnus. I've been up here for two days straight. No food, no water, no-**

 **Magnus: Oh quit the sob story. No one cares. Anyway, we've got another cage and I decided to go out and find someone I hate to put him in the cage. I found that I couldn't put my father up there, so I got the next best thing.**

 **Sebastian: You got Camille in there?**

 **Magnus: What? No, I didn't. Camille and I have a friendship. I would never hang her up in a cage.**

 **Alec walks in: Magnus, I need to tell you something...**

 **Magnus: Not now, Alec, I'm in the middle of telling the audience who I've got in the cage!**

 **Alec: But, Magnus, it's really important...**

 **Magnus: Alec, please.**

 **Alec: Fine. But just remember, I might've been about to say something that would blow your mind to bits.**

 **Magnus:...That's a nice image to put in my head.**

 **Alec: I didn't mean it like that.**

 **Sebastian: Can you guys keep your bickering for the dressing rooms?**

 **Magnus: No, actually. You know Alexander, I think we should be one of those shows that get actual guests on. Like, imagine if we got someone like…**

 **Sebastian: Like blink-182!**

 **Everyone looks at Sebastian.**

 **Sebastian: What?**

 **Magnus: Where have you been living?**

 **Sebastian: Well, I lived in Alicante and Idris, but I suppose you don't care.**

 **Magnus: Not really, no.**

 **I walk in with a massive clipboard: Hey guys, um, can I speak to Magnus?**

 **Magnus: Well, actually-**

 **Me: Thanks, come on Magnus.**

 **Magnus and I walk to the other side of the stage: Magnus, what are you doing?**

 **Magnus: Well, I seem to be hosting a-**

 **Me: Because the viewers are getting totally bored. I am getting totally bored. I do not like being bored.**

 **Magnus: No one listens to me.**

 **Me: And because of that, the viewing rates are going down and the percentage of likes are going down and…**

 **Magnus: I killed a kitten the other day.**

 **Me: And I'm getting stressed and even more writers block which is so bad and I've been listening to The 1975, and I never listen to them!**

 **Magnus: I think stripes with plaid is awesome.**

 **Me: So what I need you to do is—wait, what? What did you just say?**

 **Magnus: Nothing darling. Now, if you're quite finished, I have to go open the other cage so he'll breathe…**

 **Me: O-K.**

 **Magnus walks back to the cage and drops open the curtain: I give you all, De Quincey!**

 **Alec sighs: That's just disappointing. You could've gotten someone like the Consul.**

 **Sebastian: Or blink-182.**

 **Magnus: Seriously, what music do you listen to?**

 **Me: I think you should have gotten 5SOS.**

 **De Quincey: You are all quite rude. No one has even said hello to me.**

 **Everyone: Hi.**

 **De Quincey: Thank you. You may continue now.**

 **Me: Can I just ask, what's the point of doing all this?**

 **Magnus: What? Putting people in cages?**

 **Me: Yes, actually.**

 **Magnus:...People seem to like it.**

 **Me: Magnus, what did I tell you about speaking about the people?**

 **Magnus: Oh can you just leave and let me carry on with the show?**

 **Me: Fine. But, I'll be back.**

 **Magnus: That was a very poor Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonation.**

 **Me: I WASN'T TRYING TO BE ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER!  
**

 **De Quincey: No need to scream, love.**

 **Me: Did you, uh, did you just call me love?**

 **De Quincey: Yes.**

 **Me: Oh my gosh, someone called me love! The feels tho! The total feels! HE CALLED ME LOVE!**

 **Magnus: You're such a fangirl.**

 **Me: Whatever.**

 **Will: I call a lot of people love. I can call you love if you want.**

 **Jace: How about me? Hey, love.**

 **I faint because of the feels.**

 **Magnus: You know the word 'love' doesn't sound as great in an American accent.**

 **Will: Yeah. Sorry Jace.**

 **Jace: Are you both dissing me?**

 **Magnus and Will: Yes.**

 **Sebastian: Hey, guys, I'm still here.**

 **Magnus to Jace: I am dissing you. I really am, Jace.**

 **Alec: Forget it Sebastian. They aren't listening to us.**

 **Sebastian: Hey, do you wanna get me outta this cage and proceed in doing one of those animated things where we do loads of crazy stuff with weird music in the background and then everyone wonders where we've gone and we become bezzie mates?**

 **Alec looks at him in silence: …**

 **Sebastian: …**

 **Magnus: …**

 **Jace: …**

 **Will: …**

 **De Quincey: Why is everyone going like '…'? Ooh, I wanna do it too! …**

 **Sebastian: So, is that a no then?**

 **Alec: No. Hell no. No to the no to the no. Niet. Nein. Nee.**

 **Magnus: _That_ was probably the weirdest thing that's been said on this show. **

**Will: I bet I could beat that.**

 **Magnus: I bet you could, but please leave.**

 **Suddenly, the door bursts open yet again and- Me: CAN WE PLEASE STOP BUSTING DOWN THE DOORS? I paid a lot of money for this studio and I want to stay on budget. SO YOU CAN STOP DOING THAT PLEASE?**

 **MS: OK, fine. Is she always like this?**

 **Jace: Some days are better than others.**

 **De Quincey: Hey man, I haven't seen you in like-**

 **Me: I swear if you tell the audience who it is I will torture you very painfully.**

 **Everyone: …**

 **De Quincey: O-K.**

 **MS: Magnus, I need to talk with you. Follow me.**

 **MS leaves the room and Magnus looks at everyone: Alec, look after the show!**

 **Magnus leaves. Alec looks at everyone: Jace, look after the show.**

 **Alec leaves. Jace looks at everyone: I would take care of the show, but Will can do it for me!**

 **Everyone looks at Will as Jace leaves. I look at him: Will, do something funny!**

 **Will: What?**

 **De Quincey: Well this is boring.**

 **Me: Will, sing a song!**

 **Will: What, like the demon pox song!  
**

 **Everyone: NO!**

 **Will: OK, what about this:**

 **Will:**

 **A duck walked up to the corner store**

 **and he said to the woman running the store,**

 **hey, bom bom bom,**

 **got any grapes?**

 **The woman got out her seraph blade**

 **and said to the duck**

 **it's time to get made.**

 **He didn't waddle away, waddle waddle,**

 **he didn't waddle away,**

 **waddle waddle waddle,**

 **he didn't waddle away, waddle waddle.**

 **He was dead that very same day.**

 **Everyone: Silence.**

 **Will: There's no more song, guys.**

 **Everyone stares at Will. De Quincey sniffles: I used to like that song.**

 **Will: Anyone who would even slightly appreciate a duck song is a liar, cheater, loser, coward, idiot, moron, lightworm, stupid, chicken, a psychopath, a psychomaniac, scary, a creep, an idiot—did I say that already, never mind—a scoundrel, weird and finally, not me.**

 **Everyone is silent again.**

 **Sebastian: Are you done? Is it all out of your system now?**

 **Will: Yes, I believe I am done.**

 **Sebastian: You have way too much time on your hands. Did Simon influence you like he influenced Jace?**

 **Will: No, I just heard the song and decided to write a parody. I have been watching a lot of TubeYou recently.**

 **Me: I believe the term is YouTube. That was adorable. Say it again so I can record it and make it my ringtone. Actually, just say anything and I'll be totally fine.**

 **A random dude bumps into me and hands me a note which I read: Oh!**

 **Sebastian: What is it?**

 **Me: Well, this is getting a bit boring and everyone wants to know what's up with Magnus and Alec and Jace and the mysterious stranger. Let's cut scene and see what's happening.**

 **Me: Say bye everyone!**

 **Everyone: Bye!**

 **De Quincey: Wait, I actually have to stay in this cage for a week?**

 **Sebastian: No food, no water and no-**

 **Me: No one cares Sebastian.**

 **Sebastian: Rude.**

 **Me: Let's have a quick ad break and we'll be right back with Magnus! See you soon!**

* * *

 **Did you like Will's song? Review!**


	21. The Finale

**Hey guys, I'm back! Please don't kill me for being away so long, but I've been a little busy reading and stuff. Anyway, here it is, the last chapter. Thank you all for supporting me, but I am writing a sequel so don't freak out. Sorry this is a little short but please review and Magnus will tell you exactly what to do in a little while. Question Time was a blast, see you soon,**

 **Izzle :)**

 **Chapter Twenty— "Are you ever telling us who the guy is? I'm getting bored."**

 **Magnus is standing opposite the Mysterious Stranger, showdown style: I see you can't stay away from me. Well, I'm flattered, but seriously, don't you have anything else to do?**

 **MS: Actually, yes I do, but I can remember that you're the one who wrote to me to come here.**

 **Magnus: What's up with the cloak then? Why can't you be normal?**

 **MS: You know I'm not normal, Magnus.**

 **Jace: Are you guys ever going to do anything, because I'm getting bored.**

 **Alec: Don't interrupt, Jace.**

 **Jace: You're supposed to support me, Alec. Are you going back on your parabatai promise?**

 **Alec:...What?**

 **Jace: Well guess what! You're stuck with me!**

 **Magnus: Good going, Alec. You've made him emotional.**

 **Alec: Well, sorry!**

 **Magnus: I am now going to rip this mask off your face and let everyone see the person inside!**

 **MS: This is the part of me, that you're never gonna ever take away from me...**

 **Magnus: That was just wrong. Anyway, here we go-**

 **I walk in with a camera and stop.**

 **Magnus: Izzle, what are you doing?**

 **Me: Oh, don't mind me, just keep doing what you're doing, alright?**

 **Magnus: Yes OK. Anyway, now we will know who you are!**

 **Alec: Izzle, you made Magnus go all dramatic on us.**

 **Magnus: I'm always dramatic, darling.**

 **MS: Um, can we get on with this? I have to go see Catarina.**

 **Magnus: Catarina? No one cares about her.**

 **MS: Really? I thought you had quite the crush on her.**

 **Alec: ...Who is Catarina?**

 **Magnus: Um, you don't need to know about her.**

 **MS: Ooh, is this the Shadowhunter you're going out with? Let me tell you, Nephilim, I have so much to tell you about every single person he's ever been with.**

 **Alec: Oh, really?**

 **Magnus: I can't believe you.**

 **Magnus walks over to the MS and puts his hand on MS's hood, just as Alec looks up: Oh wait, Magnus, I need to tell you something!**

 **Magnus: Can it wait?**

 **Alec: No, please, I need to say something...**

 **Magnus: It can wait. But now, we will finally know, who YOU ARE!**

 **Magnus walks up to MS and pulls off the hood, as he gasps: What? You're not the President! What are _you_ doing here? OMG, this is so disappointing.**

 **Ragnor Fell looks up in displeasure: Nice to see you too, Magnus.**

 **Jace: Magnus, it was a bit obvious when he started talking about Catarina. And, all the banter you two had; how could you _not_ know it was Ragnor?**

 **Me: Nevermind that; You were going to get the PRESIDENT on the show? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?**

 **Magnus: I thought it would be different...**

 **Ragnor: So, now we've got all that done, what happens-**

 **Magnus: Shut up, Fell. Alec; what were you going to ask me?**

 **Alec: Actually, I wanted to apologise, because I thought it was Valentine's Day today, but it's actually next week.**

 **Magnus: Um, O-K.**

 **Me: So, what do we do now? The suspense is kinda over.**

 **Jace: How about-**

 **Magnus: WE CAN ASK THE VIEWERS!**

 **Me: Ugh, Magnus, we went through this.**

 **Jace: I was going to say we could do a dance off, but that's cool too.**

 **Magnus: We could do The Apprentice!**

 **Alec: That is such a good idea!**

 **Magnus: I would be a great Lord Sugar, right? I would be all like 'You're fired!'**

 **Alec: Actually, nevermind.**

 **Me: I don't think so. I think I would be fired.**

 **Magnus: Or, the Great British Bake Off!**

 **Me: NO WAY.**

 **Magnus: America's Next Top Model?**

 **Ragnor: That would be hilarious.**

 **Me: I don't even know what to say about that.**

 **Magnus: I think the viewers would love that. Question Time's getting old.**

 **Me: I can't believe you would say that! I was going to get like proper guests on here and be all fancy and get famous and you're RIPPING MY DREAM AWAY!**

 **Magnus: Yep.**

 **Me: Alright. To you guys out there (and I realise I am breaking the rules), do you want us to do The Apprentice-**

 **Magnus: YES!**

 **Me: The Great British Bake Off-**

 **Alec: No, please.**

 **Me: Or America's Next Top Model-**

 **Ragnor: I just want to see Magnus as a model.**

 **Me: Or continue Question Time, as I want to.**

 **Everyone:...**

 **Me: It's your choice! And I won't continue this story until someone says something.**

 **Magnus: Seriously?**

 **Me: Yeah. You're waiting in the dressing rooms until something happens.**

 **Alec: Oh.**

 **Jace: Yes! Quality time with Clary!**

 **Me: So, goodbye from Everyone Here!**

 **Everyone: Bye!**

 **Magnus: Please let's do The Apprentice! I can do Lord Sugar better than he can do himself!**

 **Me: Shut up, Magnus.**

* * *

 **So...you know what to do :)**

 **Hope to continue this with a sequel, but it's all down to you!**

 **PLEASE REVIEW! I DON'T WANT THIS TO END!**


	22. Author's Note 2

**Hey guys!**

 **This isn't a chapter update but I'd just like to say that so far, it seems next fanfic will be Question Time! Let's just say that Magnus is not happy at all, but that's totally fine.**

 **Anyway, Christmas episode is coming up soon and let me tell you, it is sooo long that you will have to take an hour to read it!**

 **Sorry I've been away, but thanks for the support.**

 **Izzle :)**


	23. The Christmas episode

**Hey guys! Here it is, eighteen pages of awesomeness and my 24 hour Christmas episode. It will actually take longer than five minutes to read (hopefully) and I am amazingly proud of it. This is the last chapter and I'm really sad, but don't worry! The sequel is being written right now!**

 **Please review and I hope you enjoy it :) Also, there is some actual Jemma going on and one character makes a special appearance (Santa)**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Bonus chapter: The Christmas Episode**

 **Me: Hey guys! I know I said that the last one was the last one but it's Christmas soon and I thought, hey, let's do a Christmas episode!**

 **Magnus: Yay! We can wear Santa Claus outfits and sing carols and put up a tree and-**

 **Alec: I really don't think anyone's got time for that-**

 **Jace smirks: And kissing under the mistletoe. Right Clary?**

 **Clary rolls her eyes: I swear the only two things you ever think about are demons and kissing.**

 **Jace: Possibly. I also think about ducks often.**

 **Will: I know right.**

 **Tessa: You Herondales are really...**

 **Will: Amazing?**

 **Jace: Fantastic?**

 **Clary: Annoying.**

 **Tessa: I was going to say...loquacious.**

 **Jem: Can we please not go back to that word?**

 **Gabriel: What word?**

 **Me: SHUT UP! Look, this is a Christmas episode so we have to do Christmassy things.**

 **Simon: Like what?**

 **Me: Like...like cooking the Christmas turkey!**

 **Everyone: No!**

 **Isabelle: Ooh! I'll get right on that! Simon, come on, let's go!**

 **Isabelle leaves and Simon looks at me: Are you crazy?**

 **Me: Go Simon.**

 **Simon leaves. Jace looks at me: You basically gave us all a death sentence.**

 **Me: Never mind that—we've got to get a Christmas tree and dance and sing carols like Magnus said.**

 **Magnus: I can do a mean impression of George Michael.**

 **Gideon: Who is that?**

 **Clary: Don't explain Magnus. Just don't.**

 **Maia: This is really nice and toasty. I've never spent Christmas with all of you!**

 **Jordan looks at the fire and scowls: Stay away from the fire, alright? Fire is...dangerous.**

 **Bat: You're such a wimp.**

 **Jordan: Say that again. I dare you.**

 **Bat: Maybe I will.**

 **Jordan: Fine.**

 **Bat: Fine.**

 **Jordan: Good.**

 **Bat: Good.**

 **Maia rolls her eyes: Guys, it's Christmas; stop fighting.**

 **Me: How did Bat even get in here? I specifically made sure never to invite both of them at the same time.**

 **Jessamine: I think that just means you're a bad host.**

 **Sebastian: Basically.**

 **Me: Not you two!**

 **A loud bang sounds from the kitchen. I look at Magnus: Magnus, show everyone your George Michael impression. I need to make sure no one died in the kitchen.**

 **Magnus: Of course. Don't worry; Julian and Emma are in there with Simon and Isabelle.**

 **Me: WHAT? THIS ISN'T THE RIGHT EPISODE FOR THEM! THEY'RE IN THE SEQUEL!**

 **Magnus: Ooh. Looks like this party is going downhill. You _are_ a bad host.**

 **Me: Hostess! Look, just, don't kill each other.**

 **I leave.**

 **Alec: Magnus, please don't start-**

 **Magnus: Last Christmas, I gave you my heart and the very next day you gave it away...**

 **Alec: Too late.**

 **Magnus: This year, to save me from tears-**

 **Break from Magnus singing.**

 **Meanwhile, in the kitchen...**

 **Simon: Izzy, I think you added too much sugar.**

 **Simon is standing next to Izzy, who is stirring something in a bowl, while Julian and Emma are licking the spoon. Not one of them however, knows what is on the spoon. Izzy scowls at Simon: I think I know how much sugar I added. The recipe says to wait until the pot bangs a bit, and then serve.**

 **Julian looks at the recipe book: Um, I think you misread it. It says wait until it bubbles, not bangs. I may know way more about paintings than I know cooking, but I think you added way too much sugar.**

 **Emma looks at Julian: Who eats sugar on a turkey anyway?**

 **Isabelle: I do. Anyway, why are you licking the spoon? In turns?**

 **Julian blushes a little: I like licking spoons.**

 **Emma: It's fine Jules. She doesn't get us. What's on the spoon anyway?**

 **Isabelle opens her mouth but Simon beats her to it: Better you don't know.**

 **I rush in with a bowl of popcorn: What happened?**

 **Emma: Izzy put too much sugar in.**

 **Me: Uh uh uh. Nothing out of you, Carstairs. I am going to be having words with you and Blackthorn. Go backstage.**

 **Julian: But Em and I were-**

 **Me: Now.**

 **Emma: Fine. Come on Jules.**

 **Emma and Julian leave, leaving me standing alone with Simon and Isabelle.**

 **Me: What?**

 **Simon: You sound like their Mom!**

 **Me: Shut up Simon. I hope you'll have that turkey done in time for dinner.**

 **I leave.**

 **Simon: Hey, Izzy, would it be alright if I cooked-**

 **Isabelle: No way.**

 **Meanwhile, back in Magnus' place...**

 **Magnus: I don't want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need-**

 **Jace: And I...**

 **Magnus: I just want you for my own, more than you could ever know.**

 **Alec: So make my wish come true!**

 **Everyone apart from Jessamine and Sebastian: All I want for Christmas is you!**

 **Magnus: Baby!**

 **Will: All I want for Christmas is you!**

 **Jessamine: Oh, by the Angel, will they ever stop?**

 **Magnus: It's Christmas Eve babe...**

 **Sebastian: Nope.**

 **Maia: You're handsome**

 **Jordan: You're pretty**

 **Bat: Did you just compliment my girl?**

 **Music stops.**

 **Jordan: _Your_ girl?**

 **Bat: Yeah.**

 **Jordan: I think you mean _my_ girl!**

 **Bat: Oh, it's on Kyle.**

 **Jordan: Bring it...um...Bat!**

 **Bat: Oh yeah, I already brought it.**

 **Jordan: Whatever.**

 **Bat: You have awful comebacks!**

 **Clary: There's free cake in the green room!**

 **Everyone: Cake!**

 **Everyone runs out.**

 **Bat: Bet I'll get the last peace.**

 **Jordan: You're on!**

 **Everyone is gone apart from Magnus and Alec.**

 **Magnus: I think everyone really appreciated that, don't you think, Alec?**

 **Alec: Sure Magnus. Sure.**

 **Meanwhile, backstage...**

 **I am pacing in front of Julian and Emma: I am pretty sure I told you to never come to my show except when Lady Midnight is out, and or when you guys are dating.**

 **Julian blushes: Um, what are you talking about?**

 **Emma: Eww! Me and Jules? You have _got_ to be kidding!**

 **Me: I kid you not.**

 **Julian: But, we're parabatai! And, she's like a sister to me!**

 **Me: Is she? Is she really?**

 **Julian:...yes.**

 **Emma looks down: Totally. What are you going on about?**

 **Me: You'll know soon.**

 **Emma scowls at me: Besides...I already have a boyfriend!**

 **Me and Julian look at her: Really? Who?**

 **Emma looks at the studio: Um, Sebastian and I have an on off thing.**

 **Julian: Emma. He killed my father. He took away Mark. You are joking right?**

 **Emma: No, he's like really hot and all that.**

 **Me: He's in the sexy evil Shadowhunters magazine for sure.**

 **Julian: But, he's like, ten years older than you!**

 **Me: Look, I don't care. This is a Christmas episode and it's supposed to be happy. Let's go on stage. Then you guys have to leave.**

 **I leave.**

 **Julian looks at Emma: Em, you really have a boyfriend?**

 **Emma:...Totally.**

 **Julian walks closer to her: You know you can tell me anything, right?**

 **Emma: You're my best friend, Jules. Of course I know that.**

 **Julian nods a little and follows Izzle. Emma sighs to herself: If only I could tell Jules how I really feel. But, no, I can't do that. We're parabatai. It would be against everything we stand for. And it would be really awkward if Julian said no. I mean, that would be really really awkward-**

 **Will: You know that talking to yourself is the first sign of madness, right?**

 **Emma: Shut up Will.**

 **Meanwhile, on the stage...**

 **Me: Where is everyone?**

 **Magnus: I believe they are all getting the free cake.**

 **Me: There's no free cake!  
**

 **Jace: WHAT?**

 **Clary: So I lied. Deal with it, Herondale.**

 **Jace: You're lucky it's Christmas. You're also lucky there's mistletoe above us.**

 **Emma: Oh please don't.**

 **Julian: Keep it PG 13 please.**

 **Jace: What are you doing here?**

 **Jem: Yes. What are you doing here Emma?**

 **Emma: Who are you?**

 **Jem: My name is-**

 **Will: His name is Frederic Von Lichtenstein, and he is the count of Lithuania. But you may call him Fred.**

 **Emma: Hi Fred.**

 **Jem scowls at Will, who is smirking: Ah, yes. I am Fred.**

 **Julian: Can you do a fancy Lithuanian accent?**

 **Jem: No.**

 **Gideon: But he's got a pretty good Spanish accent. Don't you, Fred?**

 **Jem: Um, yes. I have been taking lessons from David. Emma, meet David Malikson of Romania. You can call him Dave.**

 **Emma: Nice to meet you Dave.**

 **Gideon: Yes thank you Fred. I am Dave.**

 **Will: And I'm King Oberon of Asgard. You can call me King Oberon.**

 **Tessa rolls her eyes.**

 **Emma: So, Dave, Fred and King Oberon. Who are you?**

 **Tessa: My name is Th-**

 **Jace: Terry. Her full name is Queen Titania of Lapland.**

 **Tessa: Lapland? Really?**

 **Julian: Man, we're friends with royalty, Em!**

 **Emma: What about you?**

 **Sebastian: Well-**

 **Jace: He's nobody. No one cares about him.**

 **Emma: Oh, OK.**

 **Sebastian: Seriously?**

 **Isabelle walks in and looks at everyone: What have I missed?**

 **Emma: Hey Izzy! Jace has been introducing me to everyone!**

 **Isabelle sits next to her: Who have you met?**

 **Julian: Frederic Von Lichtenstein, David Malikson, King Oberon of Asgard and Queen Titania of Lapland.**

 **Isabelle:...what?**

 **Simon walks in wearing a Santa Claus outfit: Ho ho ho!**

 **Everyone:...**

 **Emma: Who's that?**

 **Will/King Oberon: That's Santa.**

 **Gideon/Dave: Yep.**

 **Sophie: I'm pretty sure that's-**

 **Gideon/Dave: It's Santa.**

 **Cecily: You boys-**

 **Will/King Oberon: Cecy! Decided to join the fun?**

 **Emma: Cecy?**

 **Cecily: Yes, I am-**

 **Will/King Oberon: She is my sister. Her name is Cerys Oberon.**

 **Emma: Wait, so your real name isn't Oberon? It's your last name?**

 **Will/King Oberon: No! My name is—Oberon Oberon. It runs in the family.**

 **Julian: Right.**

 **Cecily/Cerys Oberon: And I am a Princess as well. Oh and here is my Prince: David Malikson!**

 **Gideon and Gabriel: Yes?**

 **Cecily/Cerys Oberon: Huh?**

 **Emma: There are _two_ Dave's?**

 **Gabriel: Um, but I call myself Malik and he is Dave.**

 **Gideon scowls: How come everyone has a fancy royal name? Why am I Dave?**

 **Jem/Fred: Technically, my name is Fred.**

 **Gideon: Technically, you are a Von Lichtenstein.**

 **Simon/Santa Claus: What the hell is going on?**

 **Emma: Simon? I thought you were Santa-**

 **Me: EVERYONE SHUT UP!**

 **Silence.**

 **Me: I think the turkey is on fire!**

 **Isabelle and Simon: I'll get it!**

 **They leave.**

 **Jordan: I think I would make a better Duke than you!**

 **Bat: Oh really?**

 **Jordan: Yes actually.**

 **Magnus: Maia, why are you with these two?**

 **Maia: Ugh, I have no idea.**

 **Emma: So there's Dave, Fred, King Oberon Oberon, Malikson, Cerys Oberon, Queen Titania and Santa-**

 **Alec: Look, there's nothing of the sort.**

 **Julian: What?**

 **Alec: Those are fake names, OK? And you're pretty stupid not to realise it-**

 **Emma: Don't insult us!**

 **Me: Guys, I have to make a speech so shut up.**

 **Silence.**

 **Me: Christmas is a season of giving and sharing-**

 **Jordan: That cake is mine!**

 **Me: Shut up! Christmas is a time to be peaceful with one another and watch Christmas movies and, you know, be loving and kind towards one another-**

 **Emma: If you say one more bad thing to Julian, I swear I will kick you in the-**

 **Me: NO SWEARING AT CHRISTMAS! Anyway, Christmas is a time to tell that special someone how you feel. Not you Jemma.**

 **Everyone: Who's Jemma?**

 **Me: It's the awesome new ship name for Julian and Emma! Also, Christmas is a time to be cheerful-**

 **Sebastian: Really?**

 **Jessamine: Why are we even here right now?**

 **Me: No one cares! As I was saying, Christmas is one of the best times of the year because-**

 **Isabelle rushes in: Guys!**

 **Me: CAN WE PLEASE STOP INTERRUPTING MY SPEECH!**

 **Isabelle: SHUT UP IZZLE! Simon needs help!  
**

 **Clary: Did he eat the turkey?**

 **Isabelle: He tried-**

 **Jace: By the angel, we have to go help him!**

 **Everyone rushes out to the kitchen, apart from Julian and Emma.**

 **Emma: Jules, do you think we should go now? I think we've overstayed our welcome.**

 **Julian: Well, you did punch Alec in the face. Thanks for having my back.**

 **Emma: I always do, Jules.**

 **Julian walks a little closer to her, his hand scratching the back of his neck: Do you—do you think Izzle is right?**

 **Emma looks at him: What do you mean?**

 **Me: What do you mean? Hey! When you nod your head yes, but you wanna say no, what do you mean?**

 **Magnus: Izzle, come _on_!**

 **Julian: Well, about that stuff with us...and...um-**

 **Emma: Jules, Izzle is crazy. We're parabatai and best friends. What more could we want, right?**

 **Julian looks down: Right.**

 **Emma: Are you alright, Jules?**

 **Julian looks up with hidden emotion behind his eyes: Yes. Come on, let's get out of here. Tavvy and Dru will be wondering where we are.**

 **Emma looks a little disappointed: Sure. Let's go.**

 **Emma and Julian leave Question Time.**

 **I walk out from where I was hiding: I can't believe it. Those IDIOTS! I wanted a kissing scene! Ugh; now I'll need to get one from Clace or Wessa. And that was such a good opportunity...**

 **Meanwhile, in the kitchen...**

 **Isabelle: Please, Simon, don't die! I need you! We all need you! You were there for me when I needed help and now, you're just going to leave me here? WHY!?**

 **Jace: Iz, he just choked a little on a turkey leg.**

 **Isabelle: WHY?!**

 **Clary: Ugh.**

 **Simon: I think I'm OK now. But, I don't really feel like eating anything for a few years now.**

 **Isabelle: Oh Simon, you scared me so much!**

 **Will: Maybe now we can return to the show?**

 **Isabelle: But—I'm not done cooking!  
**

 **Jace: Izzy, yes you are. Simon nearly died because of you. We're getting Chinese takeout.**

 **Isabelle: Fine.**

 **Meanwhile, on the stage...**

 **Me: I've just realised this episode is longer than all the others combined. Oh well.**

 **Magnus: So Emma and Julian have gone?**

 **Me: They'll be back in the sequel.**

 **Alec: This episode certainly was interesting.**

 **Magnus: Yes. I will now call Jem, Fred forever.**

 **Cecily: We just have to do something about Jordan and Bat.**

 **Me: I bet it was nice for Sebastian to get out of the cage for a bit.**

 **Sebastian: You bet it was.**

 **Me: I forgot!**

 **I rush over to the other cage and gasp: Guys, where did De Quincey go?**

 **Magnus: Oh him? He left weeks ago in search of food. I hear he raided the buffet table and took off into the night. I haven't heard from him in over a week. Which isn't very good. Likewise for Ragnor Fell. I have no idea where he went. Oh wait, I made him into our Christmas tree!**

 **Me: Oh, this could get me fired!**

 **Will: Would that be such a bad thing?**

 **Jem: Will, don't speak like that!**

 **Will: I'm sorry Fred.**

 **Tessa: Will, stop getting on everyone's nerves.**

 **Will: Sorry Tess.**

 **Me: Do you think this is the end of the show?**

 **Jace: Well, we're eating Chinese food and Simon hasn't died. Jordan and Bat are still fighting and they knocked over the Christmas tree—I mean Ragnor, but no one has kissed under the mistletoe yet.**

 **Cecily: We can't end the show without a kiss!**

 **Magnus: I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus-**

 **Alec: Don't.**

 **Maia: And I suppose that Jace is volunteering.**

 **Clary: I'm not kissing you underneath the mistletoe with everyone watching.**

 **Will: Tessa?**

 **Tessa: No way.**

 **Magnus: Alec?**

 **Alec: Are you kidding me, Magnus?**

 **Me: Well, if none of you will volunteer, we'll have to play Spin the Bottle.**

 **Simon: Oh come on!**

 **Isabelle: How do we play it?**

 **Jace: Well, basically-**

 **Me: You have to sit in a circle and then you take turns in spinning this bottle. Whoever the bottle lands on, they have to kiss!**

 **Will: Wait, what happens if I was playing and it landed on Jem?**

 **I chuckle: Well...you would probably have to kiss him.**

 **Jem: WHAT?**

 **Me: Ha ha ha.**

 **Alec: I think I'll sit out on this one.**

 **Magnus: Fine. I will too.**

 **Me: OK, so Jace, Clary, Will, Tessa, Jem, Gabriel, Gideon, Sophie, Cecily, Jordan, Maia and Bat are playing. This is great!**

 **Jordan: Ugh.**

 **Me: OK, who wants to go first?**

 **Jordan and Bat: I will!**

 **Bat: No, me.**

 **Jordan: Are you kidding me?**

 **Me: Bat can go first.**

 **Bat sticks his tongue out at Jordan: Ha!**

 **Jordan: Whatever.**

 **Maia: You guys...**

 **Bat spins the bottle around: When does it stop?**

 **Maia: Maybe it will land on Will. That would be hilarious.**

 **Will: I don't think it would.**

 **Cecily: Actually, it would.**

 **Will: Tessa would feel jealous.**

 **Tessa: No I wouldn't.**

 **The bottle is still spinning.**

 **Bat: Will it stop yet?**

 **Gabriel: Well, this is boring.**

 **Me: You're so impatient.**

 **The bottle stops at Maia.**

 **Bat: Ha!**

 **Jordan: Seriously?**

 **The bottle suddenly dives towards Jordan.**

 **Me: Looks like Bat got Jordan.**

 **Bat and Jordan: WHAT?**

 **Maia: Huh.**

 **Magnus: I'd just like to say that that wasn't me.**

 **Me: KISS KISS KISS!**

 **Jordan: No way!**

 **Bat: If you think I'm going to kiss this guy, you've got another thing coming.**

 **Maia: If you kiss, I promise to make you guys my special recipe cake.**

 **Jordan: OK.**

 **Will: I can't believe you agreed so quickly.**

 **Bat and Jordan lean into each other: We'll never speak of this again. Agreed.**

 **Me: Keep it K rated guys! It's the Christmas episode!**

 **Jordan finally pecks Bat on the lips and immediately backs away in disgust: Ugh! That was the worst thing I have ever done in my life!**

 **Jace: No kissing details, Izzle?**

 **Me: It wasn't worth it.**

 **Everyone is silent for a minute.**

 **Me: Well, I guess that means it's the end of the program.**

 **Clary: Forever?**

 **Me: No. But, where's Simon and Isabelle?**

 **Alec rolls his eyes: They went to the kitchen to save the turkey.**

 **Simon: I'm here guys! What did we miss?**

 **Me: Everything.**

 **Sebastian: This has been entertaining but I believe we should bring this to a close.**

 **Magnus: By singing Auld Lang Syne!**

 **Me: I don't think so.**

 **Magnus: Jingle bells, jungle bells, jingle all the way!**

 **Me: And that's the end everybody! We hope you enjoyed this special edition 24 hour episode and hope you'll tune in next time for Question Time 2!**

 **Magnus: So originally named—wait, what about The Apprentice?**

 **Me: Well, the audience didn't want it.**

 **Will: That's good.**

 **Magnus: But—but...**

 **Me: Ugh, you can be Alan Sugar for a minute.**

 **Magnus: YOU'RE FIRED!**

 **Me: And that's all you're getting.**

 **Jace: Merry Christmas!**

 **Me: Oh yeah! Merry Christmas and hope you guys have a very good new Year!**

 **Everyone: Bye!**

 **Simon: Iz, where did you put the turkey?**

 **Isabelle: Oh by the angel, the turkey's on fire!**

 **Magnus: Everything is definitely normal.**

 **Me: BYE!**

 **Sebastian: But wait: where did Jordan and Bat go?**

 **Me: They're probably fighting. Let it go. Bye!**

 **Magnus: Let it go! Let it go! Can't hold it back anymore-**

 **Me: if you dare finish that I will ban you from ever coming back here.**

 **Alec: Don't threaten my boyfriend!**

 **Me: Um-**

 **Jordan: Get away from her or I will punch you in the jaw!**

 **Bat: Oh yeah?**

 **Jace: Christmas is definitely the time for giving.**

 **Will: Well, as everyone is fighting and or insulting each other, goodbye from me, William Herondale and the rest of us. To all a good day-**

 **Jace: And good night!**

 **Everyone: Bye!**

* * *

 **I hope you liked it! Thanks for all the reads and comments and I hope you stick around for the sequel.**

 **I've been Izzle Heronstern! Goodbye!**


	24. hey guys!

**HEY GUYS!**

 **I know it's been a while but I have been constantly writing Question time 2 and I'm trying to make it even better than Question Time itself!**

 **It's going to be up soon and I hope you'll love it :)**

 **If you want a sneak peek I'll give it to you tomorrow if enough people favourite this chapter, even though it is definitely NOT a chapter.**

 **Thanks guys,**

 **Izzle heronstern**


End file.
